As you might imagine, most trips are accompanied by outrageous sights and this one was no exception. Here is the scenario and I will try my best to express my outrage at this event. I will give a little background first. We were traveling on Hwy 12 in Southern Utah which has been said to be the most beautiful stretch of scenic highway in the nation, and I agree that it is.
It is also one of the most dangerous stretches of highway, especially the part from Escalante to Boulder. The road curves wildly and often and grades of over 10% are common. Someone, in their infinite wisdom and selfish narcissist glory, decided to organize a “Run to raise the awareness of abused gerbils (or whatever the hell it was)…on this highway…on a Friday afternoon….and in the middle of summer when it was approaching 110°.
This two-lane, winding road was filled to the brim with sweating, red-faced, out of shape self-centered brats and accompanied by their entourage of SUVs with water, lip-gloss and I.V’s for these noble joggers, running for their cause, in the middle of an afternoon where the heat index must have been 130°.
Our disbelief quickly turned to outrage as this endless snake of insanity endured for miles and miles. There were very few shoulders in this mountainous area and these Idiots were running and staggering all over the highway, totally oblivious to the 4,000 lbs. of sheet metal bearing down on them. Towards the end I was thinking that involuntary manslaughter and a prison sentence might be worth it to run down one of these inconsiderate jerks, but Judy and I settled for honking at them and flipping them off at every opportunity.
I don’t care what the cause was, I curse these inconsiderate assholes who almost ruined my afternoon and endangered both of our lives in absolutely the most idiotic “Run Fors” that I have ever seen.
I posted this Rant on Facebook and got some comments from Karen….I mean LH… Enjoy
LH: How dare someone do something for charity and inconvenience you. Had they known you were coming, surely they would have not only cleared the roadways, but the flight paths as well to keep you from hearing overhead aircraft.
GOAT: Do something for charity? How does endangering your life and the lives of others by jogging on a dangerous highway benefit charity? Nice try, Hopper.
LH: It’s called slow down, Shelby. Slow down. Stop. Watch the view. Smell the air. It was your VACATION. People don’t fume and rant on VACATION. The issue was not the runners, but your reaction to them. Change the way you think, change the way you feel.
GOAT: You were not there, Linda. Should I have to come to a complete stop on a public highway to keep from killing some asshole that is jogging ON THE ROAD? This is on a ridge with absolutely no shoulders. Look at the picture and THINK instead of merely trying to get under my skin. I’m quite in the right here, so there.
LH: Yes. You should have slowed down for ALL the runners until you were safely past them. I have done it for caravans of cyclists and runners and there are roads all over the nation that are steep and narrow and don’t have shoulders. You SLOW DOWN and stop if you need to for runners, motorcycles, bicycles, and pedestrians. What you don’t do is act AS IF the known world revolves around your cute ass. Okay? And give the woman who was in the car with you a nice present for going on that journey. God bless her.
GOAT: Obviously I did, genius, but it did not make it right. There are rules and laws regarding public highways and I have already started an inquiry as to this event. Instead of automatically negatively reacting to everything I write, maybe you should think about what actually happened here. It could have been disastrous, and maybe it was, I will find out. It was a dangerous situation THAT I DID NOT INITIATE. Also, fuck off.
LH: I do think before I write. I’m just quicker than you prefer. It couldn’t have been a disaster as long as you paid attention. The issue is not your driving. Get it? Not your driving.
GOAT: The issue is entitlement and people are not entitled to endanger others on public highways, I don’t care what the cause is.
AUNTIE: Kiss and make up, you two. 🙂
GOAT: She would enjoy that too much, I’d make her howl at the moon and claw at the turf.
LH: SMH!
GOAT: Slap it all you wish. Here is the deal. I often enter rants which may be over the top and may invoke literary license and may be caricatures of the actual event. Nevertheless, the underlying message is intact and, in this case, I am confident that I am quite in the right. If you want to troll my page and try to get under my skin, go right ahead. Please just remember WHERE you are.
LH: Shelby….I have you in a group called “close friends” so you appear on MY page.
GOAT: That should be easily fixable. I have said this many times, but I am not responsible for what appears on the Facebook pages of other people.
MATT CALE: I hate cyclists and joggers. Get off the goddamn road!
LH: You guys are hilarious. Really.
GOAT: You don’t live out here, ditz. A more obsessed nuisance doesn’t exist. They have no regard for themselves or anyone else, especially in the National Parks.
LH: Shelby, I live 4 miles from Washington DC where many people believe the earth revolves just for them. You would be hard pressed to find more entitlement in the West than you can find in the halls of Congress. Every power nerd wannabe winds up here. That’s how I know to ignore them and move on. They are not worth your vents or rants, especially when you are on vacation.
GOAT: Linda, go to Urbandictionary or any dictionary and look up “rant”. A Rant is a form of writing, and it is something that I do. My rant was merely a modest proposal. Deal with it for what it is…or not, I really don’t care.
LH: I know what a rant is. I got an A in expository writing in college.
[Linda blocks everyone]
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