There are 260 entries in Rants
FEATURED RANTS
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Disaster, 70’s Style: Part 4
Read more: Disaster, 70’s Style: Part 4Movie: Avalanche (1978) “I always thought survival meant being king of the mountain.” Avalanche (1978) Preamble: Given the title, can you work out what’s gonna happen? Control freak and shady businessman Rock Hudson, who looks gayer with each passing scene, is busy doing his best to resemble Kim Jong-il’s puppet in Team America: World Police.…
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Disaster, 70’s Style: Part 3
Read more: Disaster, 70’s Style: Part 3Movie: Airport (1975) “You mean, the stewardess is flying the plane?!” Airport 1975 Preamble: Heart attacks regularly pop up in disaster flicks. They’re convenient, can happen at any stress-related time, and are cheap to film. Here a bloke flying a light aircraft is having ticker trouble. Seconds later his twin-engine motorized gnat crashed into a…
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Memorable Movie Reflections: The Marx Brothers
Read more: Memorable Movie Reflections: The Marx BrothersHooray for Captain Spaulding, The African explorer. He brought his name undying fame and that is why we say, Hooray, Hooray, Hooray. Yes, hooray for Captain Spaulding upon his return from the last trip to Africa, complete with entourage (Yes my friends, an entourage is required, even for the terminal mediocrity of today. The intrepid…
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A Think Piece About Think Pieces That Will Change the Way You Think About Pieces
Read more: A Think Piece About Think Pieces That Will Change the Way You Think About PiecesRape, is it good or bad? You probably said…
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The Gleeful Slaughter of Children
Read more: The Gleeful Slaughter of ChildrenBeing an ex-teacher, I naturally hate kids. For almost four years I had to endure their relentless energy, selfishness, demands, spite and mediocrity, leaving me with the impression that the average child shares a lot in common with a small, intoxicated, unruly visitor from outer space. Think of a half-cut E.T. kicking your shins and…
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Devilish Dwarves
Read more: Devilish DwarvesThere’s a famous old Peter Cook and Dudley Moore sketch in which a one-legged actor auditions for Tarzan. The casting agent can’t believe what he’s being confronted with (“I’ve got nothing against your right leg. The trouble is, neither have you”) while the disabled actor remains oblivious to his chances of snagging the athletic role.…
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Macho Idiots
Read more: Macho IdiotsThere’s a terrific scene in The Terminator when Arnie strides into a nightclub looking for Sarah Connor. A bouncer tries to stop him by slapping a hand on his shoulder, but our futuristic hit man doesn’t even bother looking around. Instead, he grabs the offending limb and gives the fool a taste of his cybernetic…
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Tina! Bring Me The Axe!
Read more: Tina! Bring Me The Axe!Cinema is littered with ridiculous turns, most of them delivered by Nic Cage. Talented as he is at scenery chewing (as anyone who’s seen Con Air or The Wicker Man remake will attest) I still don’t think his frequent hammy excesses can ever reach the level of Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest. This 1981 travesty…
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Ridiculous Deaths
Read more: Ridiculous DeathsWe’re all gonna die. It’s a sobering thought, but we cling to the hope it’ll be relatively painless and perhaps even dignified. But what if it isn’t? What happens if you end up like one of those Pan Am passengers in the 1988 Lockerbie Bombing perched atop a Scottish roof still strapped into a seat…
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The Ruthless Guide to 80s Action Movies: Volume 1
by Erich Schulte (Author), Matt Cale (Author), Mike McGowan (Author), John Gautreaux (Author), Devon Pack (Author), Sarah Sarah Rhodes (Author), Shelby Sherman (Author), Michael Behrens (Author), Juan Konstantin (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
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Top 10 Christmas Movie Characters Top 10 Ruthless Reviews Comedies Top 10 Reasons To Be An Atheist Top 10 Movie Drunks Top 10 Favorite Christmas Movies Top 10 Most Outrageous YouTube EatingRANTS LIST
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The Misunderstood: Iceman
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Breaking Bad
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Martin Folse : Destroyer of the Community.
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Elton John Rocks: An Appreciation
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The Poseidon Adventure (Seven Things I Love About…)
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Chinese Moms: A Rant
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Murder, Torture & Religion
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Top 10 Eighties Bullies
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Jorts!
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Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom
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Eddie Ray Routh: American Sniper Sniper
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Tennessee v. Alabama Football: Battle of the Bubba Gumps Edition
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The Rapture: 2023 Edition
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Chester Visits the Iowa State Fair
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How to Create a Film Fan in Five Easy Flicks
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The Insult of Cocaine Bear is Greater Than its Mere Crapitude
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The Last Hurrah #4: Mel Brooks’ Young Frankenstein (1974)
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5 Tips for Starting an Acting Career Later in Life
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Spread Your Legs For Daddy: Part 4
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Spread Your Legs For Daddy: Part 3
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Charles Bronson, R.I.P.
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The Littlest Groom
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My Addiction Conniption
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An Angry Rant About Something
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Road Trains: A Meaningless Rant About Truckles
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Violent Thoughts About A Film-maker
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Spinning Plates: Part 4
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Spinning Plates: Part 3
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Spinning Plates: Part 2
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Spinning Plates: Part One