There are 263 entries in Rants
FEATURED RANTS
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Thirty Odd Years Of Walken: Part One
Read more: Thirty Odd Years Of Walken: Part OneBy 1991 Christopher Walken was a major star, having secured a place in pop culture with his Oscar-winning Deer Hunter turn. Yet watch him drift through that year’s little-seen All-American Murder clad in a leather jacket and a fixed expression and you have to wonder what the fuck’s going on. Surely an actor of such…
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Andrew Tate: Hoisted By Hubris
Read more: Andrew Tate: Hoisted By Hubris2022 has been a banner year for celebrities setting themselves on fire. We had Will Smith’s career-ending stupidity at the Oscars and the never-ending story of the world’s richest fool, Elon Musk. As always, being an election year, there were a whole slew of Trump worshiping nitwits who all went down in a blaze of…
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The Big Knife
Read more: The Big KnifeA hundred years ago the gentleman detective in the form of Philo Vance was extremely popular. The crimes he solved tended to be artificial and complex. The hard-boiled detective in the form of Sam Spade and the Continental Op were a reaction to this artificiality. Raymond Chandler wrote The Simple Art of Murder in reaction).…
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The Not Quite #6: The King of Comedy (1982)
Read more: The Not Quite #6: The King of Comedy (1982)Scorsese’s cinematic partnership with De Niro is among the most legendary of the twentieth century, hemorrhaging up blood-soaked classics like Taxi Driver and Goodfellas. It wasn’t all plain slaying, though. Just take a look at the headache-inducing musical New York, New York in which De Niro argues nonstop with Liza Minnelli. Then there’s the redundant,…
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Batman Returns Again
Read more: Batman Returns AgainSome people think Die Hard is a Christmas movie and I’m not here to contradict them though it’s in my every bone to do so, it’s Christmas, we should get along, somebody somewhere invented the idea that it was rude to ask these people exactly what the analytical criteria for a Christmas movie might be,…
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Disaster, 70’s Style: Part 4
Read more: Disaster, 70’s Style: Part 4Movie: Avalanche (1978) “I always thought survival meant being king of the mountain.” Avalanche (1978) Preamble: Given the title, can you work out what’s gonna happen? Control freak and shady businessman Rock Hudson, who looks gayer with each passing scene, is busy doing his best to resemble Kim Jong-il’s puppet in Team America: World Police.…
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Disaster, 70’s Style: Part 3
Read more: Disaster, 70’s Style: Part 3Movie: Airport (1975) “You mean, the stewardess is flying the plane?!” Airport 1975 Preamble: Heart attacks regularly pop up in disaster flicks. They’re convenient, can happen at any stress-related time, and are cheap to film. Here a bloke flying a light aircraft is having ticker trouble. Seconds later his twin-engine motorized gnat crashed into a…
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Memorable Movie Reflections: The Marx Brothers
Read more: Memorable Movie Reflections: The Marx BrothersHooray for Captain Spaulding, The African explorer. He brought his name undying fame and that is why we say, Hooray, Hooray, Hooray. Yes, hooray for Captain Spaulding upon his return from the last trip to Africa, complete with entourage (Yes my friends, an entourage is required, even for the terminal mediocrity of today. The intrepid…
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A Think Piece About Think Pieces That Will Change the Way You Think About Pieces
Read more: A Think Piece About Think Pieces That Will Change the Way You Think About PiecesRape, is it good or bad? You probably said…
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The Ruthless Guide to 80s Action Movies: Volume 1
by Erich Schulte (Author), Matt Cale (Author), Mike McGowan (Author), John Gautreaux (Author), Devon Pack (Author), Sarah Sarah Rhodes (Author), Shelby Sherman (Author), Michael Behrens (Author), Juan Konstantin (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
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The 2 Best Films of 2005
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My Malawi Story
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Dead-Eye Alec: Or, Put that gun down!
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The Last Hurrah #5: Charles Bronson in Death Wish (1974)
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The Top 10 Words To Describe Midgets
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Ayn Rand’s Objectivism: The Cult of The Dirty Diaper
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My Five Most Shattering Orgasms
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Why Liberals Will Never Win The Gun Control Debate
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Five Facts About Tornadoes You Didn’t Know
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L. Ron Mexico Discovers Noah’s Diary
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Shaky Starts: Part Two
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Shaky Starts: Part One
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The Bug Museum -or- A Creationist’s Worst Nightmare
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Matt has had enough of the 300 Fan Boys
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Matt has had enough of NASCAR dads
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Things That Go Bump on The Shaft
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Pizza Sucks
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
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Matt Has Had Enough of Mountain Climbers
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Happy Sniper’s Day
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Masters of Disaster: Leslie Neilson in The Poseidon Adventure
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Demons in the air -or- Why movies suck and wokism is everywhere
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Where’s My Froggy?: A Top 10 (ribbit) List
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Schultz’s Guide to Enjoying San Francisco
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How To Deal With Conservative/Paranoid Facebook Friends
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Another Poop Story: The Desert Hamburger
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Regrets
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Confessions Of A Condiment King -or- Why Goat Revoked Ezra’s Key To The Break Room At Ruthless Towers