There are 263 entries in Rants
FEATURED RANTS
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Fat Fuckers
Read more: Fat FuckersChubsters, lard asses and human hippos appear to be the latest group of people we’re s’posed to tippy toe on eggshells around, if not show automatic respect for. Fantastic, and I’ll certainly bear that in mind the next time I’m wedged next to one in Coach Class or I see some slobbering blubber guts outside…
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Brain Eating, Gang Rape and Other Funny Stuff
Read more: Brain Eating, Gang Rape and Other Funny Stuff“I’d walk a mile for a chuckle.” Great line, huh? It comes from 1957’s excellent Sweet Smell of Success. It’s a simple statement that perfectly captures a sense of ennui. In seven short words you get a feel for how the character’s been numbed by the daily grind, how he’s surrounded by unremarkable people and…
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Hey, PE Teacher! Leave Them Kids Alone!
Read more: Hey, PE Teacher! Leave Them Kids Alone!I’ve never quite gotten over my first PE lesson aged eleven at a big school. After surviving a bruising game of rugger in which I was sometimes mistaken for the ball, I tried my best to change back into my uniform and sneak home as the prospect of a group shower at that somewhat self-conscious…
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Carter v. Shand: Battle of the British Gangsters
Read more: Carter v. Shand: Battle of the British GangstersThere are many people who like to grapple with the Big Questions, such as whether we’re alone in the universe, what happens after death and what celeb has the best tits. Luckily I’m in a position to answer the last one in that God has the best tits because (a he’s Perfection so it stands…
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The Ten-Year Summer Of Jenny
Read more: The Ten-Year Summer Of JennySo who’s your dream movie girl? The one who gets your heart pumping? The one so far removed from your mundane existence that if you’re honest you know you’re not worthy to share the same planet. In fact, you’re not even sure such a divine vixen is from Earth. Perhaps God lowered her from the…
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Dulce et Decorum Est… Nah, War Can Be Fun!
Read more: Dulce et Decorum Est… Nah, War Can Be Fun!On balance, any serious examination of World War Two would have to conclude the Nazis were a tad uncouth, disagreeable even. And yet without their naughty goose-stepping antics across Germany and the rest of Europe, moviedom would be immeasurably poorer. So sure, sixty-odd million people lost their lives during humanity’s worst ever quarrel, but the…
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Eight Wince-Inducing Moments in Movies*
Read more: Eight Wince-Inducing Moments in Movies*Sew Tough! I was about fourteen when I first caught First Blood on home video, the perfect age to vicariously revel in such macho histrionics. Immediately afterwards, I ran outside, knocked the first motorcyclist I saw to the ground, and headed off for the woods at breakneck speed with an imaginary entire police force hot…
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Spoiler Alert! Some Thoughts on Twist Endings
Read more: Spoiler Alert! Some Thoughts on Twist EndingsSince M. Night Shyamalan’s much ballyhooed 1999 feature The Sixth Sense, twist endings have gotten something of a bad rap, and usually with good reason. After all, in many cases they are a cheap way to add excitement to the climax of an otherwise dull story. Sometimes they are a cop-out, negating all emotional involvement…
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The Top 10 Reasons To Be An Atheist
Read more: The Top 10 Reasons To Be An AtheistThe Top Ten Reasons to Be an Atheist (in no particular order) are: Drum roll please… Please consider purchasing Barry Goldberg’s excellent book. Common Sense Atheism – Kindle edition by Barry S. Goldberg. Religion & Spirituality Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com Common Sense Atheism: Barry S. Goldberg: 9781549856990: Amazon.com: Books
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The Ruthless Guide to 80s Action Movies: Volume 1
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Finding Bigfoot(2011)
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A Presidential Election CAT-Astrophe
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Foreigners, Eh? Guess They’re All Right
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We Can’t Interfere With People’s Beliefs*
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God speaks out about attorneys
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Bitches