One scene where Jokey Smurf delivers a bomb package to a room full of schoolchildren, remarking that the ‘war for Christian purity is about to begin’ was kind of over the top. Still, the theater could not help but burst into applause when Papa Smurf called Treblinka a ‘Zionist lie’.

126 Minutes, PG-13 for atomic devastation, seppukku, miscellaneous Japanese persons getting disemboweled. Fair Value Rating of The Wolverine: $11.50. Wolverine’s the best at what he does- and what he does is stabbing a lot of people. Director James Mangold’s first superhero flick manages an entertaining midsummer adventure with Disney’s favorite mutant cyborg, Wolverine. By casting…

“Why y’all actin’ ‘spicious?”

If The Expendables was the final roar of a withered Tyrannosaurus Rex, Red 2 is more like a soft heave of breath as the dinosaur lays dying. Welcome to the decade of 100 male versions of Norma Desmond, all shot in bullet time. Welcome to the decade of geri-action.

While he was doing memory exercises and push ups at the same time, we were watching football and masturbating at the same time. Now we join him in enjoying the fruits of his labor.

Do people even watch the movies they review anymore?