Let’s declare the obvious from the outset: this is not a film for cynics, realists, and grouches.

Keep Matt Cale away from your children.

Chicks ruin everything.

The plot is Texas dumb and drags its ass around in places. But I like the movie.

Now, here’s the good news; Expiration is not an unwatchable train wreck. While I doubt that phrase will wind up as a blurb on the DVD…

It stands as a contemporary display of excruciating horror because of Julia and Julia alone.

Trivia Note: Nick has two license plates that are visible in the film. They are: “CACA KING” and “POO CZAR.”

In movies, a woman can take seven kickboxing lessons and defeat a man who outweighs her by 100 pounds.