It’s about time you resurrect the Shithouse. Whats this one about? Lindsay Lohan, playing both Aubrey and Dakota, is kidnapped, gagged, tortured, and mutilated, losing a hand and leg in the process. Shes found, sent to a hospital, then followed by the FBI, and before long, shes in a graveyard digging up herself. Wait a…

Winter is here. Ten years people. We have been waiting ten years for Avengers: Infinity War and it is finally here. Eighteen movies and three television series later and it is finally here. Okay, so not many people watch all three TV series. I forgot Inhumans was even a thing (just eight episodes), Agent Carter…

Batman Ninja (2018) Right. Even with the lowest of expectations, this film could not possibly appeal to even the most masturbation-induced brain damaged victims of whatever DC anime cult still exists. This attempt at a movie was so childish and horribly written and displayed that I don’t know who else it could possibly appeal to.…

Children of Men (2006) Cuaron’s Children of Men is one of the few post-apocalyptic nightmares I can believe in. Its dystopian vision of a future world not so far away (its events are set in 2027) rings true from start to finish, and its unrelenting bleakness never reeks of hyperbolic fantasy. This is not a…

Keep it simple, stupid. If you were to make a list of video games you would most like to see adapted into movies, I am guessing that list would include exactly zero classic arcade games. I have never expressed a desire to see a Galaga or Centipede movie on the silver screen nor have I…

The Ritual (2017) I only get to watch horror movies by myself. This isn’t out of choice. It’s just that my girlfriend wants nothing to do with anything more terrifying than The Emperor’s New Groove. And in this day and age, you can’t casually phone a pal and ask them round to watch a horror…