Rug-munchers of the world, unite!

By all means see it (and enjoy it), but shake your head when you realize how much better it could have been.

“Fletch cracks another bad pun involving a historical figure — cue insanely shitty 80s music.”

Let’s declare the obvious from the outset: this is not a film for cynics, realists, and grouches.

Keep Matt Cale away from your children.

Chicks ruin everything.

The plot is Texas dumb and drags its ass around in places. But I like the movie.

Now, here’s the good news; Expiration is not an unwatchable train wreck. While I doubt that phrase will wind up as a blurb on the DVD…

It stands as a contemporary display of excruciating horror because of Julia and Julia alone.