Now, here’s the good news; Expiration is not an unwatchable train wreck. While I doubt that phrase will wind up as a blurb on the DVD…

It stands as a contemporary display of excruciating horror because of Julia and Julia alone.

Trivia Note: Nick has two license plates that are visible in the film. They are: “CACA KING” and “POO CZAR.”

In movies, a woman can take seven kickboxing lessons and defeat a man who outweighs her by 100 pounds.

Pretty good stuff, if not for the fact that real story would have been so much better…

Fortunately, director Cameron Crowe has seen fit to provide a new target for my undying rage…

87 minutes in — nude, unconscious, and covered in boils.

Before I leave you, perhaps never to return, let me remind you that this film made over $120 million at the box office.