In 1999, George Carlin recorded a set called You Are All Diseased, in which he did a segment ranting about the then current obsession with children. Not that that obsession has abated at all over the last two decades, but he specifically went off about parents overloading their children with structure and play dates. After…

To quote myself from my Beauty and the Beast review, “I realize I am not the intended audience for this film.” The difference with Going in Style is that I should be. Just because the average age of its three stars (Morgan Freeman, Alan Arkin, and Michael Caine) is 82 doesn’t mean that non-octogenarians can’t…

What do you get when you cross Blade Runner with Robocop and sprinkle in a little Johnny Mnemonic? A movie during which I almost fell asleep. Twice. To be fair, I had to wake up before five o’clock that morning to get to a meeting, but a loss of an hour of sleep isn’t enough…

Don’t you hate it when the first half of a movie is really good and the second half is a mess of shit? Welcome to Life, a movie that builds some of the best tension I’ve seen in years, then loses its mind in the interest of novelty deaths. Life reminded me a lot of…

Land of Mine (sandet) 1 hour 40 minutes, R for extreme bodily mutilation. Fair Value of Land of Mine: $9.00. It falls in a middle range of films about ordnance disposal, better than The Hurt Locker but not as good as Bravo Two Zero. The Summer Camp from Hell: To the innocents are bequeathed the…

I get that I am not the audience for Beauty and the Beast. I am not a fan of musicals. I am not a ten-year-old girl who doesn’t care about plot holes or young women being held against their will. I do not find buffaloes attractive, not even rich, royal buffaloes. I do not care…

90 minutes, Rated G Fair Value of The Red Turtle:$9.00. Beautiful art and animation at a languid pace. Is this film worth my time? Do you like the idea of Herge, Miyazaki, and Gauguin working together? This film is a moving picture in the truest sense, a 90 minute montage of art. Who is this…

After nearly forty years living on Earth, it’s not often that movies surprise me, but when they do it’s like I’m eight years old at Christmas again. When you’re an adult opening presents, you almost always know what’s inside that wrapping paper, but when you’re eight, that package could contain anything from an action figure…