“Eternals” – Forgetting what works. For years, Marvel and its Cinematic Universe (MCU) have been chugging along, producing one great movie after another, with the occasional Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2 to remind us that nobody is perfect. Simultaneously, Warner Brothers and its DC Extended Universe (DCEU) have been frantically trying to emulate the…

The Sting is one of those movies that makes cinephiles envious of anyone who is watching this gorgeous movie for the first time. A winner of 7 Academy Awards, this film also stars the tandem of Paul Newman and Robert Redford in their finest effort together. Noteworthy is that even with a wheelbarrow full of…

 Dune (2021 Denis Villeneuve Version) 2 hours 35 minutes, PG-13 for stabbings, maiming and a nude Oscar Isaac Fair Value of Dune: $20. This is a space opera done right. Not Villeneuve’s greatest film (that’s either Sicario or Blade Runner 2049), but this is the most coherent and comprehensible adaptation of the Frank Herbert epic.…

Every man fantasizes about having Bruce Lee inside of him. Hmm, call me a cynic, but I sense this simple statement already being misconstrued. Let me be a bit clearer. I don’t mean we feverishly dream of being bummed by the little Asian poppet. I mean we’re all in love with the idea of a…

George A. Romero’s Monkey Shines is the story of Allan Mann (Jason Beghe), an athlete who is struck down by a semi-truck at the start of the movie, rendering him quadriplegic. He is forced to use one of those wheelchairs operated by blowing into a straw in order to get around, and after he hits…

Deep Blue Sea, like the slasher movies it emulates by way of movies like Alien and Predator, is less a compelling narrative than it is a sort of delivery system for gruesome death scenes. And that’s fine. When a movie realizes its ambition, however high or low that ambition may be, it succeeds. It is…

“Why should I love God? He strung up his only son like a side of veal. I shudder to think what he’d do to me.” –The Marquis de Sade I guess that it is pretty obvious by now that I rarely review bad movies (EDITOR’S NOTE: That’s a lie) or even movies that I don’t…