Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? When I was a kid, my parents watched America’s Most Wanted with John Walsh. Episodes featured cheap reenactments of crimes committed by featured suspects to give the audience something to watch besides Mr. Walsh talking, even though that something to watch had the cinematic quality of anthropomorphic finger…

Is this film worth my time? Deadpool 2 is a middle level lowbrow action comedy for middle-schoolers and muddled stoners alike. If you’re cool spending your time with 3rd– rate live action South Park, who am I to judge? Check your brain at the door. 1 Hour 59 Minutes, R for graphic dismemberment, sodomy, tiny genitalia…

Sorry, were you hoping to learn something interesting about Han Solo? Benign. Rote. By-the-book. Fine. Adequate. Entertaining enough. All are applicable adjectives to the latest Star Wars movie, Solo: A Star Wars Story. Hell, “A Star Wars Story” is probably the perfect way to describe Solo because it is generic and tells us something we…

It’s about time you resurrect the Shithouse. Whats this one about? Lindsay Lohan, playing both Aubrey and Dakota, is kidnapped, gagged, tortured, and mutilated, losing a hand and leg in the process. Shes found, sent to a hospital, then followed by the FBI, and before long, shes in a graveyard digging up herself. Wait a…

Winter is here. Ten years people. We have been waiting ten years for Avengers: Infinity War and it is finally here. Eighteen movies and three television series later and it is finally here. Okay, so not many people watch all three TV series. I forgot Inhumans was even a thing (just eight episodes), Agent Carter…

Batman Ninja (2018) Right. Even with the lowest of expectations, this film could not possibly appeal to even the most masturbation-induced brain damaged victims of whatever DC anime cult still exists. This attempt at a movie was so childish and horribly written and displayed that I don’t know who else it could possibly appeal to.…

Children of Men (2006) Cuaron’s Children of Men is one of the few post-apocalyptic nightmares I can believe in. Its dystopian vision of a future world not so far away (its events are set in 2027) rings true from start to finish, and its unrelenting bleakness never reeks of hyperbolic fantasy. This is not a…

Keep it simple, stupid. If you were to make a list of video games you would most like to see adapted into movies, I am guessing that list would include exactly zero classic arcade games. I have never expressed a desire to see a Galaga or Centipede movie on the silver screen nor have I…