2hrs 42 minutes (but it feels like eternity), R for wholly implausible violence Fair Value of The Godfather Part Three: -$15.00. Ordinarily, in my work day, my profession earns me about $30/ hour. This film wasted three hours of my life. I want my Saturday back. I want my life back. I want to be…

“Wrath of Man” – You think you’re soooo clever. One of the things I enjoy the most about writing movie reviews is learning new things. For instance, did you know Guy Ritchie was nominated for a Golden Raspberry Award (Razzie) for worst director? And if you were guessing for which movie, it was not for…

Well, it is springtime, or so I’ve been told. For those of you who don’t know me, which is pretty much all of you, I’ve been a baseball fan and junkie for a lot of my life. Not so much lately, but in the Golden Era of Mays, Mantle and Duke Snider, I was all…

“Mortal Kombat (2021)” – Finish me already. I’m struggling, friends. On one hand, I asked for big, dumb blockbusters to come back. On the other hand, not like this. You don’t need me to tell you that Mortal Kombat is a shit movie catering to the dumbest common denominator. That was a given; it’s right…

I’m trying to recall the first movie that I watched with Brad Pitt; it was either 12 Monkeys or Spy Game, both excellent movies. Last night I watched a baseball movie, Moneyball, and Brad Pitt was again his magnificent self. Brad Pitt is Billy Beane, the General Manager of the 2002 Oakland A’s. Billy Beane…

The Help is a lot like Crash, The Blind Side, and other presumably well-meaning but largely tone-deaf movies about race that don’t happen to star Sandra Bullock (as a longtime devotee of both Demolition Man and The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down, I have to believe sweet Sandy’s heart is in the right place). However…

“Voyagers” – No one can hear you conch in space. I hate Lord of the Flies. I hate the book, I hate the 1963 film adaptation, and I hate the 1990 film adaptation. If I had known Voyagers was Lord of the Flies in space, I might not have wanted to watch Voyagers. They got…