There are many right and wrong ways to write a screenplay. Here is the way Argylle was probably written, complete with director’s notes (in this case, Matthew Vaughn or MV here) and SPOILERS. Title: Not Another Kingsman Movie. MV: I see what you did there. We’re doing another quasi-spoof spy movie that isn’t Kingsman. Har-har.…

Don’t lecture me at the movies. Dwarfism arguably the surest sign we have for an unloving, merciless god. To afflict any human being with a litany of curses – from the puffy chest, to the sausage-like fingers, to the unmistakable teetering walk of a Weeble.

Humour is built on cruelty. At least, the funny stuff is. I can give you two childhood examples. I had a couple of mates called Plow and Meg. Plow was a strange lad, skinny as rake with a mass of curly hair and about as likely to get a girlfriend as a piss-stained lamppost. He…