Fair Value of It Chapter Two: $.50. I wouldn’t turn it off if it was an airplane movie. Is It Scary? Aw fuck no. I’ll put it this way: I was never scared by haunted houses because I know that people are going to try to scare me. On the other hand, deep woods and…

A creepy throwback. I wonder what kind of childhood Guillermo del Toro had? The creatures that he comes up with for his movies and television shows suggest his childhood was…not good? Haunted? Disturbed? When I found out he was involved with the making of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, I immediately nixed the…

Ari Aster’s first film, Hereditary, had a trailer that was impossible to avoid for about six months leading up to its release. I must have seen it at least two dozen times. With every claim that it was the scariest movie to come along in decades, anticipation grew, and some degree of disappointment became more…

M is for mole. For my wife, time travel in a movie kills that movie for her. I get it – time travel solves any problem, undoes any death or event, and, of course, comes with that pesky paradox (if you change the past, you erase the reason for going back to the past to…

Pet Sematary is one of Stephen King’s most popular horror novels that has been adapted for the movie screen 3 times now. The original 1989 Pet Sematary was most famous for that insane grey cat, the cute little kid getting smashed to smithereens by a semi, and for Fred Gwynne as Jud. It was a…

My lips are mostly sealed. I often struggle in these reviews with how much to reveal when discussing a movie.  Okay, I sometimes struggle.  On one hand, nobody likes spoilers.  Even for movies that are obvious and preordained crap, people want to be surprised and decide for themselves.  Incidentally, these are the same people who have to touch the…

Insert broken pun here. One of the biggest mysteries in Hollywood is how M. Night Shyamalan still has an active directing and writing career.  My friend and I pondered this question on our way to a screening of Shyamalan’s latest film, Glass.  After The Village disappointed countless fans, Shyamalan rapid-fired four of the worst movies…