Category: Movies
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The Matrix Resurrections
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Read more: The Matrix ResurrectionsWay back in 1999, the idea of a Matrix sequel was a no-brainer. Neo had just destroyed Agent Smith, warned the artificial intelligence that he was going to set everyone’s minds free, and flew off into the sky like Superman. Four years later, the two-part sequels released and were a bit of a letdown, to…
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Starring debuts #9: John Amplas in Martin (1978)
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Read more: Starring debuts #9: John Amplas in Martin (1978)Martin on the hunt with a syringe clamped between his teeth is one of the great sights of 70s horror. We know he’s a serial killer, but is he a vampire? As played by the superb Amplas, we never get a telling answer. The movie continually toys with conventions and expectations so that facts and…
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Nightmare Alley-Devon’s Slant
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Read more: Nightmare Alley-Devon’s Slant2 Hours 30 Minutes, R for Face-Smashing and Eating Live Poultry Fair Value of Nightmare Alley: $18.00. This remake stands tall and proud as the equal of the original 1947 noir classic, yet is still distinct and memorable in wholly different ways. What in this world is so depraved and terrible as the Geek? That…
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Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
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Read more: Santa Claus Conquers the MartiansI stumbled upon this heaping pile of garbage by googling, “Worst holiday movies ever.”
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Cruising For A Few Good Movies
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Read more: Cruising For A Few Good MoviesIn the atrocious Interview with the Vampire the effete Tom Cruise tells his supernatural buddy Brad Pitt: “Life without me would be even more unbearable.” Well, kids, whaddya reckon? Is Our Tom telling the truth? Can you imagine your existence sans Maverick or never having witnessed all those heroic dashes with his choppy hands? No…
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The King’s Man
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Read more: The King’s Man“The King’s Man” – Run Conrad, Run! To franchise or not to franchise? That is the question Hollywood grapples with on a daily basis. Just kidding. Hollywood would franchise your food pictures on social media if they had more than three likes. The only people having conversations about sequels, franchises, and remakes that go beyond…
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Nightmare Alley
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Read more: Nightmare AlleyWhen you watch films by certain directors, you come to expect certain things. If you watch Quentin Tarantino, you expect the movie to explode into a curse-filled bloodbath. If you watch Roland Emmerich, you know the world is ending somehow. If you watch M. Night Shyamalan, you’re know you’re getting a twist and probably spending…
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Blaxploitation #1: Super Fly (1972)
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Read more: Blaxploitation #1: Super Fly (1972)What the hell are these cats up to? A successful Harlem coke dealer with the extraordinary name YoungBlood Priest (O’Neal) wants one last big deal before going straight. His partner Eddie (Lee), who appears to be doing an impersonation of Sammy Davis Jr. throughout, wants to stay in the game. Stop groaning at the back…
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Zombie Hunter (2013)
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Read more: Zombie Hunter (2013)I hope he has a license.
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Starring Debuts #6: Harvey Stephens in The Omen (1976)
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Read more: Starring Debuts #6: Harvey Stephens in The Omen (1976)According to the nursery rhyme, little boys are made of snips, snails and puppy dogs’ tails. However, some parents being driven up the wall by their misbehaving spawn probably believe they’re actually jam-packed with satanic DNA. Take Damien Thorn. There’s just no hope with this kid. Appoint a nice nanny to look after him? She’ll…