Category: Movies
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The Bad Guys (2022)
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Read more: The Bad Guys (2022)The Bad Guys – Does farting really make someone bad? It took me a while to put my finger on it, but I finally realized why The Bad Guys failed to resonate with me. The opening of the film shows a wolf and a snake having breakfast at a diner. Everyone else in the diner…
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Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!
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Read more: Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!Reviewing any Sharknado movie is an exercise in utter chaos, so for this deep dive (I am truly sorry for the pun) into Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!, I will basically just be transcribing my frenzied, disbelieving notes, but cleaned up and tweaked into coherent sentences and paragraphs. Or so I hope. I’ve seen three…
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The Northman
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Read more: The NorthmanThe Northman – Alexander Skarsgard is tight. My main goal in writing film reviews is to entertain you while I tell you about a movie. While I can’t even sniff the same comedic galaxy as Pitch Meeting or Honest Trailers, I do my best to come up with jokes to make your read slightly less…
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The Canyons
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Read more: The CanyonsEvery once in a while, a movie comes along that is so moving, so powerful, that it leaves you feeling inspired. This is not that movie. Directed by Paul Schrader (who wrote Raging Bull – seriously!), The Canyons is a movie that is so awful that I feel dumber for having watched it. Maybe you…
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Rollerball
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Read more: RollerballThe story, such as there is, sucks. There are smaller points of suckiness. Here’s a short list.
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Ambulance
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Read more: Ambulance“Ambulance” – La-La-Land. It shouldn’t take long into a viewing of Ambulance for you to realize you’re getting a movie that had approximately three minutes of thought put into its screenplay. For reasons that make absolutely no sense, the title highlights the “LA” part, as if it matters even a tiny bit what city this…
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The Mask (1994)
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Read more: The Mask (1994)It is over-stating the obvious that actor Jim Carrey is an acquired taste. He has a legion of fans that adore him and probably an equal number that find him as annoying as Forrest Gump. Love him or hate him, it cannot be denied that Jim Carrey has some serious, unique talent. Carrey has starred…
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Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore
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Read more: Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of DumbledoreWe are often faced with choices in life that we wish we could go back and choose again. While walking into the screening of Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore, I was presented with a choice of schwag for the film – would I like a movie poster or a reusable, cloth grocery bag? As…
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The Lost City
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Read more: The Lost City“The Lost City” – Pretty, but dumb. No, wait, that’s pretty dumb. Have you ever been to a comedy show or open mic night where the comedian absolutely bombed? That’s what The Lost City is, but with a little bit of silly action and a lot of hammy acting. I’m not saying it is completely…
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Ezra’s 2022 Oscar Predictions
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Read more: Ezra’s 2022 Oscar PredictionsNo, I am not trying to guarantee this will help you win your Oscar party betting pool or whatever. This is just one film cricket’s best guesses, with a little hedging of the bets in the form of a second place guess in some categories, and highly tainted by emotion in others (such as any…