Category: Movies
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The Shining
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Read more: The ShiningA hotel, bathed in blood, wrapped in a puzzle and stuffed up the keister of an enigma, The Shining relays the less-than-straightforward tale of a psychic boy helplessly trapped in a quagmire of perverted demons and murdered guests all wanting a fresh bite of whomever took the job of winter caretaker. That would be Jack…
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The Last Hurrah #2: James Caan in Misery (1990)
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Read more: The Last Hurrah #2: James Caan in Misery (1990)Caan did much better than a lot of actors, but his lengthy career still manages to give off a whiff of disappointment. There was never any doubt about his ability, typified by an early performance as a brain-damaged ex-ball player in 1969’s The Rain People. Here he’s very good at doing what he can with…
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Rashomon
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Read more: RashomonI want to talk about Rashomon in a non-film school way. So much, so very, very much, has been written about this film and more importantly its grandmaster writer/director Akira Kurosawa that it is difficult to get a word in edgewise. Most of what has been written, in my opinion, is quite accurate–but–the writings tend…
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The Last Hurrah #1: Francis Ford Coppola’s Apocalypse Now (1979)
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Read more: The Last Hurrah #1: Francis Ford Coppola’s Apocalypse Now (1979)It’s always a mystery when a gargantuan talent falls off a cliff. How can an auteur like Coppola, a man who ruled the cinematic landscape of the seventies by combining searing art with the most fantastic consistency, fail to make another great movie after 1979? A mesmerizing gift can’t just evaporate, can it? I mean,…
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The Day Of The Jackal (1973)
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Read more: The Day Of The Jackal (1973)“August 1962 was a stormy time for France. Many people felt that President Charles de Gaulle had betrayed France by giving independence to Algeria. Extremists, mostly from the army, swore to kill him in revenge. They banded together in an underground movement and called themselves the OAS.” This was the beginning narration of what would…
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Air
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Read more: AirNow that we are into the beginning of the blockbuster season, we have a lot to choose from. Super Mario, John Wick, Adonis Creed, Ghostface, and a Dungeons and Dragons party are all vying for our attention. Would you believe me if I told you your best option is none of those, but instead Air…
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Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
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Read more: Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among ThievesThe last serious attempt at a Dungeons & Dragons movie was in 2000, resulting in a critical and commercial bomb (10% on Rotten Tomatoes, grossing just $33.8 million on a $45 million budget) and a legion of angry dungeon masters. Impossibly, two direct-to-DVD sequels were filmed and released in 2005 and 2012, presumably as a…
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Alien vs. Predator
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Read more: Alien vs. PredatorYou can read all about what’s wrong with the plot of the movie on countless other websites, and rest assured it is retarded.
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Looper (2012)
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Read more: Looper (2012)Time travel really messes with your mind, doesn’t it? I mean, The Grandfather-paradox, Back to the Future, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure: it just fucks with your idea of time. Like: what is it? Is it a steady stream, from the roiling past through this very present moment right here and now into the bright…
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65 (2023)
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Read more: 65 (2023)It is a rare and special thing to have an entire movie theater to oneself. My most memorable one was actually with a friend, when we saw a restoration of 2001: A Space Odyssey in an otherwise empty auditorium. I still cannot fathom why only two tickets were sold to such an amazing movie at…