Category: 80s Action
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Under Siege
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Read more: Under SiegeTagline: None listed. Really. Boo. Entire Story in Fewer Words Than Are in This Sentence: Villains overrun ship, Seagal transforms from cook to butcher. Homoeroticism: OK. I have to go into stupid chief mode here: Chief Schulte: Seagal!! Get in here! Seagal: Yes sir. Chief Schulte: You mind telling me what the hell you think…
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Rocky V
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Read more: Rocky VPost-80’s burnout.
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Rocky III
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Read more: Rocky IIILet’s face it, folks — Rocky and Apollo want to fuck. They always have. Here, in the third installment, they come as close as they ever would to breaking…
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Robocop
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Read more: Robocop“Bitches, leave.”
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Rolling Vengeance
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Read more: Rolling VengeanceHomicidal trucker runs over yokels who killed his family.
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Red Dawn
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Read more: Red DawnCommunists invade America; teenage gun nuts save us all.
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Lone Wolf McQuade
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Read more: Lone Wolf McQuadeTexas Ranger single-handedly brings down Mexican mafia.
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Lock Up
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Read more: Lock UpMen, showers, you do the math.
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Rambo First Blood Part II
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Read more: Rambo First Blood Part IIRambo is gayer than sexual intercourse between men.
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The Punisher
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Read more: The PunisherDamn liberal justices.