Category: Rants
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Spinning Plates: Part 3
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Read more: Spinning Plates: Part 3Olivia Newton-John in Grease (1978) “Got any porno?” Debbie Harry asks in Videodrome. “Gets me in the mood.” Good line, but I doubt Newton-John ever said anything like it during her movie career. She might’ve been known as Olivia Neutron-Bomb after the release of the image-altering, multi-million selling Physical, but in reality, has any late…
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Spinning Plates: Part 2
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Read more: Spinning Plates: Part 2Jagger in Performance (1970) & Ned Kelly (1970) Art and commerce have a weird relationship. On the face of it, it makes perfect sense to slap a pop star into a feature film, sit back and watch his or her fans gobble up the tickets. Who needs marketing when you’ve got a built-in audience? Such…
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Spinning Plates: Part One
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Read more: Spinning Plates: Part OneFrom Bing Crosby’s silky crooning in The Road to Singapore to Mark Wahlberg’s seven-inch, floppy rubber cock in Boogie Nights, it’s clear that the musical stars of the day have always fancied their big screen chances. Perhaps after topping the charts it’s the most natural of moves. Then again, maybe such success merely prompts their…
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Matt Has Had Enough of The Troops
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Read more: Matt Has Had Enough of The TroopsI am speaking of the distinct, undeniably creeping stench of trash – po’ white trash above all…
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Good God, What Were You Thinking, Girl?
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Read more: Good God, What Were You Thinking, Girl?There’s an extraordinary scene at the end of the pretty good 1981 slasher Eyes of a Stranger in which Jennifer Jason Leigh’s blind deaf-mute character has just regained her sight after being sexually assaulted and beaten in her home by a serial killer. The teenager has managed to turn the tables and shoot the vicious…
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30 Odd Years Of Walken: Part 3
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Read more: 30 Odd Years Of Walken: Part 3The least conspicuous turd in Batman Returns (1992) I think I’m on record disliking superhero movies. No, hating them. In Batman Returns I’m supposed to buy into a deformed dwarf crime boss having been raised by penguins in a sewer. Oh, and the dowdy, timid secretary Michelle Pfeiffer is pushed out of a high window…
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Thirty Odd Years Of Walken: Part 2
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Read more: Thirty Odd Years Of Walken: Part 2A mainstream pat on the back in A View to a Kill (1985) Not too many actors get to play a Bond megalomaniac, but Walken was happy to dye his hair blonde and give things a whirl. Did he do a good job? Hmm, well, he’s Max Zorin, the product of some WW2 Nazi experimentation…
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Thirty Odd Years Of Walken: Part One
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Read more: Thirty Odd Years Of Walken: Part OneBy 1991 Christopher Walken was a major star, having secured a place in pop culture with his Oscar-winning Deer Hunter turn. Yet watch him drift through that year’s little-seen All-American Murder clad in a leather jacket and a fixed expression and you have to wonder what the fuck’s going on. Surely an actor of such…
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The Seven Most Pivotal Events in Heavy Metal History
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Read more: The Seven Most Pivotal Events in Heavy Metal HistoryUnfortunately, the founding of Black Sabbath did not make the cut.
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Andrew Tate: Hoisted By Hubris
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Read more: Andrew Tate: Hoisted By Hubris2022 has been a banner year for celebrities setting themselves on fire. We had Will Smith’s career-ending stupidity at the Oscars and the never-ending story of the world’s richest fool, Elon Musk. As always, being an election year, there were a whole slew of Trump worshiping nitwits who all went down in a blaze of…