Category: Rants
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Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom
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Read more: Indiana Jones And The Temple Of DoomYou probably think this movie is about Indiana Jones. You probably also think it’s about a temple made out of doom. Well, you’d probably be wrong! It’s about one man’s struggle to practice his religion. Before Stallone’s sweat ever touched a Russian or Van Damn ever round-housed an Asian, a man by the name of…
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Eddie Ray Routh: American Sniper Sniper
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Read more: Eddie Ray Routh: American Sniper SniperRouth, Kyle and Mustafa. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.
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Tennessee v. Alabama Football: Battle of the Bubba Gumps Edition
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Read more: Tennessee v. Alabama Football: Battle of the Bubba Gumps EditionDeep in The South of The United States, not much is more important in the Fall than College Football. Real football, not that sissified Kickball played by the rest of the world. In two of the most fervently Redneck States in the nation, the third weekend in October is quite special. It is the battle…
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The Rapture: 2023 Edition
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Read more: The Rapture: 2023 EditionI wrote this originally over 10 years ago. Nothing has changed as the twice-born, religiously impaired are still hard at work, making more looney predictions about the upcoming rapture. The latest prediction was for 12:01 A.M. (no time zone or DST mentioned), for the heavenly hordes to sweep down, vacuum up the believers with magic,…
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Chester Visits the Iowa State Fair
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Read more: Chester Visits the Iowa State FairCorn-based ethanol for everyone.
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How to Create a Film Fan in Five Easy Flicks
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Read more: How to Create a Film Fan in Five Easy FlicksMy cousin doesn’t understand my work, movies bore him, he says, but I don’t blame him, since in his mid-twenties and according to him has never seen a black and white movie all the way through his cinema appreciation is in the dumps. Double that the only movies he’s actually seen have been post 2000s,…
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The Insult of Cocaine Bear is Greater Than its Mere Crapitude
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Read more: The Insult of Cocaine Bear is Greater Than its Mere CrapitudeI.. Am. Dismayed. Dismayed and adrift. Dismayed, adrift, unseen and ignored. What brought me to this lowly state? Why, I’ll tell you. ON NO LESS THAN NINE OCCASIONS has Hollywood passed on my Kiplingesque treatment of nature by making Cocaine Bear…an insult I have not seen and will not see, but the pain, the sting,…
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The Last Hurrah #4: Mel Brooks’ Young Frankenstein (1974)
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Read more: The Last Hurrah #4: Mel Brooks’ Young Frankenstein (1974)“My grandfather’s work was doo-doo! I am not interested in death! The only thing that concerns me is the preservation of life!” Mel Brooks’ 2021 autobiography All About Me! is an irritating, surprisingly poor read. It’s lame, politically correct, bland and devoid of interesting anecdotes. I don’t think there’s one word of criticism aimed at…
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5 Tips for Starting an Acting Career Later in Life
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Read more: 5 Tips for Starting an Acting Career Later in LifeIt’s always possible to follow your dreams and pursue a career in acting. Famous actors such as Samuel L. Jackson and Christoph Waltz, both started their successful careers after the age 40. Many successful actors started their careers later in life, proving that age is just a number when pursuing your passion. Whether you have…
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Spread Your Legs For Daddy: Part 4
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Read more: Spread Your Legs For Daddy: Part 4Eyes Wide Shut (1999) The story: Cruise and Kidman mope through Kubrick’s flaccid finale. Does it make me wanna incorporate anything into my sex life? I guess you’re asking if I fancy an orgy, right? Well, I wouldn’t mind dipping a toe (fnar! fnar!) There is something appealing about turning up at an isolated country…