Category: Rants
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Five Facts About Tornadoes You Didn’t Know
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Read more: Five Facts About Tornadoes You Didn’t KnowYou never hear any positive stories about tornadoes. Why is it nobody has anything nice to say about them? Why does humanity harbor so much fear and hate for these gentle giants? It’s not like we were born hating tornadoes. No baby busts out the belly being a bigoted funnel-fearing Freddy. Chances are, you learned…
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L. Ron Mexico Discovers Noah’s Diary
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Read more: L. Ron Mexico Discovers Noah’s DiaryThe other day, I was hanging out in the swamp, just trying to exaggerate my rural working-class persona and get a reality TV deal, and I stumbled upon a dusty book inside an old pile of wooden wreckage. As it turns out, the book is actually Noah’s diary from his time on the ark! Now…
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Shaky Starts: Part Two
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Read more: Shaky Starts: Part TwoJeff Goldblum in Death Wish (1974) A gangly, grinning Goldblum is your archetypal goon in this vigilante classic, although I suspect he was a bit shame-faced if he ever escorted his mom to his movie debut. He’s introduced alongside his similarly retarded pals as they leap around a supermarket tossing a frozen chicken to each…
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Shaky Starts: Part One
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Read more: Shaky Starts: Part OneSometime in my early youth, I realized I would one day have to work for a living. This seemed unfair, especially as I already had a mumsy and a da-da to provide everything. Later at high school a counselor asked me about my dream job. I truthfully replied it was to not have a job.…
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The Bug Museum -or- A Creationist’s Worst Nightmare
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Read more: The Bug Museum -or- A Creationist’s Worst NightmareThis is the Bug Museum. I know that Ruthless Reviews is not a travelogue, but I simply must comment on a fascinating place that I encountered in my travels to Santa Fe, New Mexico. Some of you may have noticed this on my FaceBook page, The Harrell House of Natural Oddities, or The Bug Museum.…
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Matt has had enough of the 300 Fan Boys
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Read more: Matt has had enough of the 300 Fan BoysIn my tenure at Ruthless Reviews, I have called openly for the sterilization of the mentally unfit, gulags for the aged and the infirm, retroactive abortions, and a societal purge of moms…
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The Top 10 Ugliest Men in Heavy Metal History
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Read more: The Top 10 Ugliest Men in Heavy Metal HistoryThis is one fucker who would surely fell the Kraken.
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Matt has had enough of NASCAR dads
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Read more: Matt has had enough of NASCAR dadsWho are these “NASCAR Dads” and why are they so influential?
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Things That Go Bump on The Shaft
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Read more: Things That Go Bump on The ShaftMaybe people wouldn’t hate Jews so much if they didn’t instantly associate them with penile mutilation.
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
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Read more: Rudolph the Red-Nosed ReindeerI can’t stand the song “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” It is a song about bullying, classism and outright bigotry shaming of a reindeer, who from no fault of his own, had an unfortunate birthmark. The other reindeer would have nothing to do with him…That is…until/unless Santa intervened. Why did Santa, who had put up…