Category: Rants
-
Elf (2003)
Tag(s):
Author:
Read more: Elf (2003)Will Ferrell was a human who was dropped on his head at birth and delivered by mistake to the North Pole. He was subsequently raised by elves and worked in Santa’s workshop. Ferrell, of course, because of his extensive brain damage thought that he was an elf and just could not understand why he didn’t…
-
Dr. Suess’s Ron & Jim Ruined Christmas
Category (ies):
RantsTag(s):
Author:
Read more: Dr. Suess’s Ron & Jim Ruined ChristmasSeveral times while watching the Ron Howard-directed How the Grinch Stole Christmas, I found myself wondering, “Who is this even for?” At 105 minutes, it’s a bit on the long side for kids small enough to actually enjoy.
-
Ridiculous Deaths
Tag(s):
Author:
Read more: Ridiculous DeathsWe’re all gonna die. It’s a sobering thought, but we cling to the hope it’ll be relatively painless and perhaps even dignified. But what if it isn’t?
-
Eight Wince-Inducing Moments in Movies*
Tag(s):
Author:
Read more: Eight Wince-Inducing Moments in Movies*I was about fourteen when I first caught First Blood on home video, the perfect age to vicariously revel in such macho histrionics. Immediately afterwards, I ran outside, knocked the first motorcyclist I saw to the ground, and headed off for the woods
-
Charles Bronson, R.I.P.
Tag(s):
Author:
Read more: Charles Bronson, R.I.P.What about his biography? His childhood or family life? Frankly, I don’t give a shit, nor should anyone else who claims to love film.
-
The Definitive Ranking of Rocky Fighters
Tag(s):
Author:
Read more: The Definitive Ranking of Rocky FightersWe finally have definitive rankings determined by a prestigious panel of former champs, top writers and the sharpest handicappers from the world of boxing.
-
The 20 Most Ruthless Movie Performances of All Time
Tag(s):
Author:
Read more: The 20 Most Ruthless Movie Performances of All TimeThe Dark Gospel According To Matt Cale
-
The Art of Darkness: Apocalypse Now & Full Metal Jacket
Tag(s):
Author:
Read more: The Art of Darkness: Apocalypse Now & Full Metal Jacket“War is hell,” the cliche’ proclaims, but it seems to be entertaining hell. Along with other ghastly subjects such as murder and vampirism, war ranks among the most popular and commonly used subject matter of filmed entertainment.
-
Macho Idiots
Tag(s):
Author:
Read more: Macho IdiotsThere’s a terrific scene in The Terminator when Arnie strides into a nightclub looking for Sarah Connor. A bouncer tries to stop him by slapping a hand on his shoulder, but our futuristic hit man doesn’t even bother looking around. Instead, he grabs the offending limb and gives the fool a taste of his cybernetic…
-
Save The Midgets
Tag(s):
Author:
Read more: Save The MidgetsLittle people my ass….Midgets they are, and midgets they will always be.