Category: NFL
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NFL Week 16: Amazon Dot Everything Edition
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Read more: NFL Week 16: Amazon Dot Everything EditionHOLY HELL IT’S WEEK 16 unless we already did that callback? I don’t think so. Weird how fast this season seems, though. I think with the Thursday games being a season-long thing, Saturdays starting this week, and the way the college season is structured now, you never get a chance to take a breath and…
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NFL Week 15: Get Off My Lawn Edition
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Read more: NFL Week 15: Get Off My Lawn EditionIt’s been quite the week for keeping my language in check. I don’t mean self-censorship, and I’m not about to break out a bunch of Prager U Adam Carolla P.C.-culture-has-run-amok garbage. Some Asian girl at Oberlin with too much time on her hands had a bad idea. Some kids flip out during finals week. Big…
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NFL Week 14: Why Do We Even Bother Edition?
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Read more: NFL Week 14: Why Do We Even Bother Edition?“Mrs. Duquesne” is a character as written. She does consider the Jets her favorite pro football team, and she does take the meaningful, competitive games too seriously some times, but I think we’ve all been guilty of that at some point. She did not, however, stalk Mark Sanchez via Snapchat, or write in Rex Ryan…
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NFL Week 13: Memphis would have given Ohio State A Better Game Than That Edition
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Read more: NFL Week 13: Memphis would have given Ohio State A Better Game Than That EditionI don’t want to be one of those people who feigns a sort of woeful regret every time they say “I told you so” by insisting that they are certainly not the type of person who says “I told you so,” except in that instance, of course. Those people are charlatans. Ne’er-do-wells. Cads. Bounders. And…
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NFL Week 12: Impeach THIS Edition
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Read more: NFL Week 12: Impeach THIS EditionThis will end. Maybe next week. Maybe during conference championships. Hell, maybe right now. Perhaps as you read this, our early Sunday slate is going down in flames. I would hate to come off as some sort of pragmatism monitor, but in the course of a run like this I feel just a twinge of…
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NFL Week 11: Tots and Pears Edition
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Read more: NFL Week 11: Tots and Pears EditionAmerica, we’re back! Some aristocratic, some black. The whip ain’t got no crack, but we got a hell of a bang! 2-0-1, up two more units, and our good fortunes continue. I’ve heard tell of some of you receiving change after making purchases. At the liquor store, no less! Well God bless us all I…
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NFL Week 10: What’s The Difference Between Whinge and Moan Edition?
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Read more: NFL Week 10: What’s The Difference Between Whinge and Moan Edition?I’m in a tough spot. Despite literally working for Goat, the whole quick goat thinking concept is beyond me, so I am at a loss. Generally, the first paragraph is either a celebration or rumination regarding the games of the previous week. This is usually the paragraph for therapeutic cheer-leading or the tempering of expectations,…
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NFL Week 9: Deadspin’s Eulogy Edition
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Read more: NFL Week 9: Deadspin’s Eulogy EditionHey, kids, have you enjoyed the strong back-to-back collections? If you’ve followed along the last two weekends, you are up ten units, and I absolutely love it. Since I make every bet I publish, I myself am riding the mini-wave. College has gone well too. Hell, back in Atlantic City I hit some genuinely big…
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NFL Week 8: National Astronaut Baseball Edition
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Read more: NFL Week 8: National Astronaut Baseball Edition*lights go down* *awkward silence* *chubby bald man kicks door open* HIT MY MOTHER FUCKING MUSIC! That’s right, gang. First clean sweep of the year, and not a minute too soon. Obviously, cometh the fire, cometh the siren; this won’t happen every week. However, for the time being, or at least the length of this…
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NFL Week 7: Popeye’s or Chick-Fil-A Edition
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Read more: NFL Week 7: Popeye’s or Chick-Fil-A EditionWell, it was bound to happen eventually. We split the baby for the first time last weekend, with wins from the Saints (thanks Pope!) and Cardinals, a Philly loss, and an absolute disgrace of a performance on the part of the Dallas Cowboys. They lost straight-up to the Jets on national television, and what’ worse,…