Category: Features
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Unforgiven (1992)
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Read more: Unforgiven (1992)For whatever reason, the Western became very sick in the 1970s, one of its shuddering last breaths taken when a scar-faced Clint Eastwood jumped behind a Gatling gun to let loose merry hell in the brilliant Outlaw Josey Wales. There was nothing of much note after that, the genre pretty much given the coup de…
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It’s a Wonderful Life (1947)
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Read more: It’s a Wonderful Life (1947)It’s a Wonderful Life (1947) I rarely review movies that I genuinely detest, but I’m making an exception in this case. Think of this review as more of a warning than an assessment, if by some chance you have not watched this classic. I really dreaded re-watching the public domain issue of this pedestrian yawner…
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Schultz’s Guide to Enjoying San Francisco
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Read more: Schultz’s Guide to Enjoying San FranciscoEnjoying San Fran is pretty simple. Just get out of the city.
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Elves (1989)
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Read more: Elves (1989)After watching Santa Claus (1959) and reviewing it, I was confident that things could not get any worse. With Santa’s Slay in the wings, I felt compelled to endure some other genuinely horrible movies, and it wasn’t long until I found and watched Elves. This miscarriage is available free on YouTube and it would be…
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Psycho
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Read more: PsychoAn early—perhaps, only—highlight in Resident Evil: Code Veronica features a palace sitting below a private residence atop a hill on a southern ocean island facility overrun by the bioengineered monstrosities it helped create. That gothic castle looms in the background, and as you, the player, forge an eventual path toward the perched building, the eerie…
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Confessions Of A Condiment King -or- Why Goat Revoked Ezra’s Key To The Break Room At Ruthless Towers
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Read more: Confessions Of A Condiment King -or- Why Goat Revoked Ezra’s Key To The Break Room At Ruthless TowersGreetings, citizens of Gotham! It is I, Buddy Standler, the Condiment King! You mayo may not have heard my fearsome moniker before…. Oh, come now, you mustard of me at least once or twice. Well, please endeavor to ketchup and follow along, for mine is a tale to relish! I may not be one of…
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Big Trouble In Little China (1986)
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Read more: Big Trouble In Little China (1986)Homoeroticism? None. Oh, boy, we need to talk. O.K., there was a weak attempt at redemption at the end when Jack didn’t even kiss his green-eyed girl goodbye, but by then all hope was lost. It’s complicated and confusing as we had an 80s action duo that usually meant love at first sight, but it…
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What Happens at a Timeshare Presentation?: Look Into the Mouth of Hell
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Read more: What Happens at a Timeshare Presentation?: Look Into the Mouth of HellWe were engulfed in a lake of slime and filth so vile that it would tarnish every amenity promised to us.
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Madison Rising: Music Review
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Read more: Madison Rising: Music ReviewIt’s Metal…For your Mom. Back in the day, the only day that ever really mattered, the 1980s, heavy metal music was about the only way, absent an errant missile strike by the Soviet Union, for young people to watch their oppressors suffer, be they parent, teacher, Congressman, or cop. While their pursed lips, crooked fingers,…
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2001: A Space Odyssey Review and Redux
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Read more: 2001: A Space Odyssey Review and ReduxI bought a motorcycle helmet at a garage sale, and I don’t own a motorcycle. One man’s safety device is another man’s pretend space helmet.