Category: Featured Posts
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Minions: The Rise of Gru
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Read more: Minions: The Rise of GruActual thoughts from my actual child. What number is this movie for minions? Uhhh…I don’t really remember. I don’t either. What’s this one called? It’s called…Minions: The Rise of Gru. Is Gru an adult or a kid in this one? He’s a kid. Is it like a Darth Vader, Anakin thing? [laughs] Uh, sure. Tell…
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The Lone Ranger
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Read more: The Lone RangerThe Lone Ranger (2013) 149 minutes PG 13 for scalping, cannibalism, skull crushing, decapitation, and genocide. The MPAA is a joke. A bloody, laughable farce. This film is  proof that a PG-13 rating is completely meaningless. The villain cuts the heart out of a law enforcement officer, and eats it! Hundreds of Comanche get mowed…
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Falling Down: the ‘Alternate point-of-view’
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Read more: Falling Down: the ‘Alternate point-of-view’It’s a rampage! Hard-workin’ man wake up and don’t have a say. Single-mom minorities destroyin’ what his daddy made. Bitches thinkin’ they can do his job, And why? Because he didn’t stop it the very first day. I’m done watching my ship sink into the sea, If no one’s gonna bail, it has to be…
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Hereditary
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Read more: HereditaryApproaching Hereditary, one was confronted with one of two realizations, seldom avoiding both: the hype and applause hurled first-time director Ari Aster’s way and Toni Collette’s defining performance. The first time I saw it, I knew I could be making a mistake watching it alongside two philistine family members, and I wasn’t wrong. For them,…
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Fucked-Up Films #9: Death Wish II (1982)
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Read more: Fucked-Up Films #9: Death Wish II (1982)What are these sick bastards doing? Sending civilization to hell in a handcart. Luckily, one man has the answer. And it isn’t rehabilitation or any other namby-pamby shit. How skuzzy are the men? Our obnoxious five-strong street gang is happy to sit around at fairgrounds scoping potential victims. Apart from having names like Stomper and…
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Bloody Sam says “Hi”.
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Read more: Bloody Sam says “Hi”.Dying before he was sixty seemed like a fitting final action for the maverick film-maker Sam Peckinpah. Better to burn out than fade away and all that. For whenever Sam was in town the rage-filled stories of excess flew thick and fast, tales that included wild on-set bust-ups, legendary alcohol and coke consumption, budget blowouts,…
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Crimes Of The Future
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Read more: Crimes Of The Future1 hour 45 minutes, Rated R for autopsies, surgeries, weird groping of internal organs Fair Value of Crimes of the Future: $8.00. It sounds strange to call this the most essential and the most inessential of David Cronenberg’s films, but here goes it is the best Cronenburg primer, the best introduction to ‘here are the…
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Lightyear
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Read more: Lightyear“Lightyear” – That’s why Andy wanted a Buzz Lightyear doll? As I usually do for animated flicks, I interviewed my now ten-year old son to talk about the movie. In hindsight, I definitely should have done this before he played in a three-day baseball tournament and forgot half the movie. Stick around at the end…
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Starring debuts #20: Lorraine Stanley in London to Brighton (2006)
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Read more: Starring debuts #20: Lorraine Stanley in London to Brighton (2006)“Nice isn’t it? To see a bit of color.” So says Kelly (Stanley) as she looks at the green fields through a train window on the way from London to the seaside. It’s a banal observation and yet so telling. There is no color in Kelly’s life. No joy, no hope, no normality. Every day…
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Delta-Endorsed Bonkery -or-the Southern Gothic Metric of Madness
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Read more: Delta-Endorsed Bonkery -or-the Southern Gothic Metric of MadnessMen behaving badly is the foundation of international drama. Since you need conflict, you need a motivation for bad behavior. I first learned to write in the smoky southern bars off the main college drag. I was haunted by cream-suited artistes sitting at the same booth, hunched over the same manuscript and nursing the same…