Category: Featured Posts
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Yojimbo
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Read more: YojimboA tall dark stranger ambles into a rural japanese town…and proceeds to lop off forty arms, half a dozen legs, the occasional head and ALL ORGANIZED CRIME, in a matter of three days, thus is the seemingly straightforward but, in practice, delightfully tangled knot of betrayal and deceit in Akira Kurasawa’s masterpiece of samurai ass-whoopery…
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Blaxploitation #8: Coffy (1973)
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Read more: Blaxploitation #8: Coffy (1973)What the hell are these crazy cats up to? Coffy’s eleven-year-old sister is in a juvenile rehab center trying to kick smack. It’s obviously time for our heroine to tackle LA’s growing drug problem by setting up a Neighborhood Watch, noting down any suspicious activity and passing on the information to those upstanding boys in…
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The Blob (1958)
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Read more: The Blob (1958)When I was just a young punk, there was a lot less to do and think about than there is now, and in retrospect, that was a very good thing. My life consisted of mostly going to school, going to church every Sunday morning, evening, Wednesday afternoon and the dreaded Prayer Meeting on Wednesday night.…
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Minions: The Rise of Gru
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Read more: Minions: The Rise of GruActual thoughts from my actual child. What number is this movie for minions? Uhhh…I don’t really remember. I don’t either. What’s this one called? It’s called…Minions: The Rise of Gru. Is Gru an adult or a kid in this one? He’s a kid. Is it like a Darth Vader, Anakin thing? [laughs] Uh, sure. Tell…
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Devilish Dwarves
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Read more: Devilish DwarvesThere’s a famous old Peter Cook and Dudley Moore sketch in which a one-legged actor auditions for Tarzan. The casting agent can’t believe what he’s being confronted with (“I’ve got nothing against your right leg. The trouble is, neither have you”) while the disabled actor remains oblivious to his chances of snagging the athletic role.…
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The Lone Ranger
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Read more: The Lone RangerThe Lone Ranger (2013) 149 minutes PG 13 for scalping, cannibalism, skull crushing, decapitation, and genocide. The MPAA is a joke. A bloody, laughable farce. This film is  proof that a PG-13 rating is completely meaningless. The villain cuts the heart out of a law enforcement officer, and eats it! Hundreds of Comanche get mowed…
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Falling Down: the ‘Alternate point-of-view’
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Read more: Falling Down: the ‘Alternate point-of-view’It’s a rampage! Hard-workin’ man wake up and don’t have a say. Single-mom minorities destroyin’ what his daddy made. Bitches thinkin’ they can do his job, And why? Because he didn’t stop it the very first day. I’m done watching my ship sink into the sea, If no one’s gonna bail, it has to be…
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Hereditary
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Read more: HereditaryApproaching Hereditary, one was confronted with one of two realizations, seldom avoiding both: the hype and applause hurled first-time director Ari Aster’s way and Toni Collette’s defining performance. The first time I saw it, I knew I could be making a mistake watching it alongside two philistine family members, and I wasn’t wrong. For them,…
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Fucked-Up Films #9: Death Wish II (1982)
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Read more: Fucked-Up Films #9: Death Wish II (1982)What are these sick bastards doing? Sending civilization to hell in a handcart. Luckily, one man has the answer. And it isn’t rehabilitation or any other namby-pamby shit. How skuzzy are the men? Our obnoxious five-strong street gang is happy to sit around at fairgrounds scoping potential victims. Apart from having names like Stomper and…
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Bloody Sam says “Hi”.
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Read more: Bloody Sam says “Hi”.Dying before he was sixty seemed like a fitting final action for the maverick film-maker Sam Peckinpah. Better to burn out than fade away and all that. For whenever Sam was in town the rage-filled stories of excess flew thick and fast, tales that included wild on-set bust-ups, legendary alcohol and coke consumption, budget blowouts,…