Category: 80s Action
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Dirty Harry (1971)
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Read more: Dirty Harry (1971)Tagline: Dirty Harry and the homicidal maniac. Harry’s the one with the badge. Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Only bullets can repair a broken system. Homoeroticism: Limited almost exclusively to the fetishization of guns, which of course represent dicks in the 80s Action canon, of which this is arguably the…
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Death Race 2000
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Read more: Death Race 2000The greatest film of all time. To involve David Carradine.
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Invasion U.S.A
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Read more: Invasion U.S.AMatt Hunter is tired. Once a proud Company Man, and one of the few on the payroll with full beard and bare chest, he’s more a Lion in Winter circa 1985, with nothing left to prove and no arms left to break. Leaving behind a world on the brink, he’s retired to Florida … the…
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Days of Thunder
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Read more: Days of ThunderJesus H. Christ in a Deep Fryer, Tom Cruise’s character is named Cole Trickle!
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Blood Dragon: The Video Game
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Read more: Blood Dragon: The Video GameTagline: Welcome to the Future. The Year is 2007. Entire Story in Fewer Words than are in this Sentence: Michael Biehn gives voice acting a go. Homoeroticism: Despite being a love letter to 80s action films, Blood Dragon has very little in this category. Our lead, Rex “Power” Colt, makes constant references to balls, but,…
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Ricochet (1991)
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Read more: Ricochet (1991)Tagline: “He’s a cop accused of murder. And the only man who knows he’s innocent is the killer who framed him. This is one case that’s going to be settled out of court.” Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Homicidal maniac obsesses over hot black sex cop. Homoeroticism: It is perhaps…
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Midnight Run (1988)
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Read more: Midnight Run (1988)Tagline: This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Bounty hunter and his quarry trade wisecracks. Homoeroticism: Hardly anything to report, sadly. Bounty hunter Jack Walsh (Robert De Niro) and accountant Jonathan “the Duke” Mardukas (Charles Grodin), who is in his custody, quickly develop…
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48 Hours (1982)
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Read more: 48 Hours (1982)Eddie Murphy was only 19 years old when he was tagged to play the convict conscripted by Jack, a renegade and reckless cop in San Francisco. Jack always stayed just a half a step ahead of losing his badge, and Reggie wanted to get out of jail. Even though Reggie Hammond was not a cop,…
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Deadly Prey (1987)
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Read more: Deadly Prey (1987)Tagline: In Vietnam He Was The Best… HE STILL IS! Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Mike Danton ain’t nuthing ta f’ wit. Homoeroticism: Where to begin… I am probably the first person in history to ever take notes on this particular movie, and no fewer than four pages of those…
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Death Wish 3 : 25 Years, 25 Memories
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Read more: Death Wish 3 : 25 Years, 25 MemoriesA quarter-century of brilliance.