Author: Team Ruthless
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Hard Target
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Read more: Hard TargetVan Damme and a Jheri curl mullet directed by John Woo. JCVD was born with a mullet.
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Undefeatable
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Read more: UndefeatableThe story of Stingray, a cage fighter who likes fighting, but loves marital rape. In fact, Stingray is so into his redheaded wife that when he rapes her, he actually thinks of the black guy he just hammered in the ring
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Chaw (2009)
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Read more: Chaw (2009)Holy shit, brah, a giant, man-eating Korean pig.
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Kickboxer 4: The Aggressor
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Read more: Kickboxer 4: The AggressorMitchell is in prison for doing his job too well, set up by his enemy: The System.
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The Exterminator
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Read more: The ExterminatorYou get 18 months for 42 severe sex crimes? Time to get bus-ay!
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Point Break
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Read more: Point BreakYou’re cold because all of the blood is running out of your body, Roach. You’re gonna be dead soon. I hope it was worth it.
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Moon (2009)
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Read more: Moon (2009)Sam Rockwell stars in one of the best science fiction films in years.
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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
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Read more: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)Someone kill us all now, please.
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Angels and Demons (2009)
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Read more: Angels and Demons (2009)The Da Vinci Code was an autistic child; Angels and Demons is a full-blown Downer baby with fetal alcohol syndrome.
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Out For a Kill: 90’s Inaction
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Read more: Out For a Kill: 90’s InactionIs it even possible to articulate the premise? Unfortunately, it is. Seagal is “the most distinguished academic” at Yale, because it would be a bit of a stretch for him to be the most distinguished academic at Harvard. He’s so smart that he becomes a patsy for a Chinese drug ring who try to smuggle…