Author: L. Ron Mexico

The deep blue has killed more curious men than AIDS and Everest combined, which is why it’s the perfect setting for a horror/revenge flick.

Poseidon Farted

The movie starts out with a bunch of scientists in the desert farting around with a bunch of toys that would make a steam punk shoot butthole cream into his pantaloon.

It is here that I realized Gosling was a functioning retard the whole time. It was this twist that perhaps saved the movie.

Lies and Illusions. It could be the title to a romance novel. The name of a Nickleback song. An 8th grader’s poem about society.

A film hasn’t affected me this much since I beat up all those women after watching Million Dollar Baby.