Author: Jonny
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Anchorman
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Read more: AnchormanI’m just going to say this up front. Will Ferrell is not funny.
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Zoolander
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Read more: ZoolanderZoolander, you’re serious? If they spent more than twelve dollars total on this film they got ripped off.
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Spider-Man
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Read more: Spider-ManWow! I mean, fuck me and wow! Spider-Man is an amazing movie.
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The Getaway (1972)
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Read more: The Getaway (1972)Steve McQueen stars as Doc McCoy, a con who just can’t take being locked up anymore, especially after the parole board rejects him.
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The Alamo
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Read more: The AlamoJonny is starting to dislike history… If nothing else, The Alamo falsifies the theory that Dennis Quaid will only appear in movies with “good” scripts. Man, was this movie bad. I guess I need to get into the tediousness, the mendacity, how belabored the whole project was, but what I find stupefying is that supposedly…
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Das Boot
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Read more: Das BootDas Boot opens with a bunch of drunken sailors pissing on a U-Boat Captain and his officers. This is no doubt a metaphorical stab at the fact that the Nazi overlords essentially sent literal boatloads of U-Boat men into the meat grinder. 40,000 sailors went out in German subs. About 7,000 came back. Even…
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X2 – X Men United
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Read more: X2 – X Men UnitedX2 wasn’t bad per se. In fact, it sort of wasn’t anything. It just wasn’t.
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Big Fish
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Read more: Big FishWatching (or should I say enduring) Big Fish is like spending two hours with that obnoxious drunk at the end of the bar.
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Spiderman 2 (2004)
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Read more: Spiderman 2 (2004)Too much Man, not enough Spider.
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ANY GIVEN SUNDAY
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Read more: ANY GIVEN SUNDAYStone is simply out of his fucking mind. And I love him for it.