Author: Ezra Stead
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Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!
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Read more: Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!Reviewing any Sharknado movie is an exercise in utter chaos, so for this deep dive (I am truly sorry for the pun) into Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!, I will basically just be transcribing my frenzied, disbelieving notes, but cleaned up and tweaked into coherent sentences and paragraphs. Or so I hope. I’ve seen three…
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Nosferatu (1922)
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Read more: Nosferatu (1922)It has now been a century since the release of the first real vampire movie, F.W. Murnau’s somewhat loose adaptation of Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel Dracula. In Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror, the names of characters were changed, along with many plot details, and still there was a lawsuit brought by Stoker’s heirs, and a…
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Ezra’s 2022 Oscar Predictions
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Read more: Ezra’s 2022 Oscar PredictionsNo, I am not trying to guarantee this will help you win your Oscar party betting pool or whatever. This is just one film cricket’s best guesses, with a little hedging of the bets in the form of a second place guess in some categories, and highly tainted by emotion in others (such as any…
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Sharknado: A Survivor’s Tale
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Read more: Sharknado: A Survivor’s TaleYouse guys seen these fuckin Sharknado movies? [Editor’s Note: Yes, and I reviewed two of them. Pay attention] It’s kinda important that you have… Well, take it from me, a guy who’s survived two sharknadoes…[Editor’s Note: I’ve watched 3, plus Piranha Sharks, so there!] I don’t know if that’s spelled with an “e” or not.…
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Ezra’s Top 10 Favorite Movies of 2021
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Read more: Ezra’s Top 10 Favorite Movies of 2021THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH – To be honest, the trailer alone became my favorite movie of the year as soon as I saw it, and the actual feature certainly doesn’t disappoint. In fact, my appreciation for it only grew on the second viewing. Joel Coen’s first “solo” movie (without his brother Ethan) is a stunning…
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The Dead Pool (1988)
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Read more: The Dead Pool (1988)Tagline: Dirty Harry Just Learned A New Game Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Movies don’t kill people, Dirty Harry does. Homoeroticism: Early on, we see a young Jim Carrey (as rock star Johnny Squares) prancing around in a leather outfit to the tune of “Welcome to the Jungle,” but that’s…
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Sudden Impact (1983)
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Read more: Sudden Impact (1983)Tagline: Two killers are at large. One of them is Dirty Harry. Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Revenge is best served with a comically farting dog. Homoeroticism: All in all, this is probably the most disappointingly hetero movie in the whole series, as Harry gets closer to a woman than…
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The Enforcer (1976)
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Read more: The Enforcer (1976)Tagline: The “dirtiest” Harry of them all! Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Harry endures militants, radicals and, worst of all, women. Homoeroticism: The lead baddie, Bobby Maxwell (DeVeren Bookwalter) shares Harry’s love of the kill, a look of erotic rapture overtaking his face as he shoves his huge knife into…
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Magnum Force (1973)
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Read more: Magnum Force (1973)Tagline: This time the bullets are hitting pretty close to home! Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Harry could just kill his Stupid Chief this time. Homoeroticism: Once again limited almost exclusively to the fetishization of guns, beginning with the opening credits sequence, which consists of a very long shot of…
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Dirty Harry (1971)
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Read more: Dirty Harry (1971)Tagline: Dirty Harry and the homicidal maniac. Harry’s the one with the badge. Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Only bullets can repair a broken system. Homoeroticism: Limited almost exclusively to the fetishization of guns, which of course represent dicks in the 80s Action canon, of which this is arguably the…