Author: Dave Franklin
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The Not Quite #7: Dead Man’s Shoes (2004)
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Read more: The Not Quite #7: Dead Man’s Shoes (2004)“God will forgive them. He’ll forgive them and allow them into heaven. I can’t live with that.” So says our heartbroken, self-loathing main man in an ominous voiceover at the start of this revenger. And, of course, he finds ‘them’ and does a wee bit more than issue a stern telling off. Sounds like formulaic…
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Abusive Flesh Peddlers: Part 2
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Read more: Abusive Flesh Peddlers: Part 2Sidney in Magnum Force (1973) Fair play, Sidney (Albert Popwell) doesn’t have too much screen time in this cop classic but he sure does make an impression. You have to say that this is a man who appears to have got out of the wrong side of bed. He’s particularly grumpy when it comes to…
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Abusive Flesh Peddlers: Part One
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Read more: Abusive Flesh Peddlers: Part OneI’ve got a theory that a fair few women fantasize about being hookers. Like most of my theories, it’s probably shite, but I’ve always been fond of airing my ignorance. I really should get a Twitter account. So, anyway, why do I think some women daydream about loveless, monetised sex with strangers? Because so many…
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Inflatable Bikinis, Erotic Soup Bowls and Randy Nignogs
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Read more: Inflatable Bikinis, Erotic Soup Bowls and Randy NignogsDuring the 70s the British film industry churned out more than twenty sitcom-based flicks, probably more than any other country in the world. I’m gonna put my cards on the table and declare the vast majority as dire. Fucking dire. It didn’t stop Joe Public from flocking to see them, though. A handful, such as…
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Hodgespodge
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Read more: HodgespodgeGet Carter remains a fave, a bleak foray into porn, familial ties, corruption, contract killers, revenge and pollution all set in a decaying city. Often hailed as one of the greatest British gangster movies, it’s the viewing equivalent of a kick in the solar plexus from a dirty, steel toe-capped boot. Amazingly, it was assembled…
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The Return of Graham Chapman
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Read more: The Return of Graham ChapmanGiven the number of movies I watch and my generally obnoxious personality, you might think I don’t have any friends. Well, you’re wrong. There’s one British military gentleman who’s always happy to sit by my side and share the silvery wonders of the big screen. His name is the Colonel and we love to delve…
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Here We Go Again: A Look At Sequels: Part 4
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Read more: Here We Go Again: A Look At Sequels: Part 4The Exorcist III (1990) The Exorcist was a profanity-soaked horror milestone. Its follow-up was smeared in locust shit and as amusingly bonkers as they come. However, Linda Blair wasn’t required for the second sequel, enabling its producers to try a new approach. Exorcist III is not a reboot (like the deliriously kooky Halloween III) but…
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Here We Go Again: A Look At Sequels: Part 3
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Read more: Here We Go Again: A Look At Sequels: Part 3A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) Aah, poor Freddy. Top of his game in his 1984 debut, but already wearing out his welcome in the hastily assembled, lazily named Freddy’s Revenge. Some people get a kick out of this odd, gay-themed sequel, but I don’t see it as anything other than a…
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Here We Go Again: A Look At Sequels: Part 2
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Read more: Here We Go Again: A Look At Sequels: Part 2Damien: Omen II (1978) & The Final Conflict (1981) The Omen’s head-lopping, priest-spearing supernatural delights have meant it’s never dropped out of my horror top ten. And when it comes to its sequels, I’ve never had a problem. They aren’t simple repetition in that we’re following Satan’s son from birth to adulthood. That’s gotta mean…
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Here We Go Again: A Look At Sequels: Part One
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Read more: Here We Go Again: A Look At Sequels: Part OneAround the forty-minute mark of Die Hard 2, John McClane realizes he’s dealing with another bunch of hi-tech, well-organized terrorists. “Oh, man,” he mutters to himself. “I can’t fucking believe this… How could the same shit happen to the same guy twice?” Yeah, dude, you nailed it. For herein lies the problem with most sequels:…