Author: Dave Franklin
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The Last Hurrah #2: James Caan in Misery (1990)
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Read more: The Last Hurrah #2: James Caan in Misery (1990)Caan did much better than a lot of actors, but his lengthy career still manages to give off a whiff of disappointment. There was never any doubt about his ability, typified by an early performance as a brain-damaged ex-ball player in 1969’s The Rain People. Here he’s very good at doing what he can with…
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The Last Hurrah #1: Francis Ford Coppola’s Apocalypse Now (1979)
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Read more: The Last Hurrah #1: Francis Ford Coppola’s Apocalypse Now (1979)It’s always a mystery when a gargantuan talent falls off a cliff. How can an auteur like Coppola, a man who ruled the cinematic landscape of the seventies by combining searing art with the most fantastic consistency, fail to make another great movie after 1979? A mesmerizing gift can’t just evaporate, can it? I mean,…
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A Decade Of Chucking Up
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Read more: A Decade Of Chucking UpDuring the groovy, Colosseum-set climax of 1972’s phenomenally successful Way of the Dragon, Chuck Norris took on the legendary Bruce Lee. Next to the lithe Asian superstar, he looked fat, slow, very hairy and curiously graceless. No matter, for he played his part in a terrific dust-up that fight fans still salivate over. He followed…
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Starring Debuts #21: Jennifer Beals in Flashdance (1983)
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Read more: Starring Debuts #21: Jennifer Beals in Flashdance (1983)I’ve long acknowledged graduates from the Kelly McGillis Top Gun School of Absurd Roles and no one deserves a bigger pat on the back than Flashdance’s Alex Owens. I mean, name one other flick with a wannabe ballerina working as a welder in a Pennsylvanian steel mill. Not only that, but she appears to be…
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Spread Your Legs For Daddy: Part 4
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Read more: Spread Your Legs For Daddy: Part 4Eyes Wide Shut (1999) The story: Cruise and Kidman mope through Kubrick’s flaccid finale. Does it make me wanna incorporate anything into my sex life? I guess you’re asking if I fancy an orgy, right? Well, I wouldn’t mind dipping a toe (fnar! fnar!) There is something appealing about turning up at an isolated country…
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Spread Your Legs For Daddy: Part 3
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Read more: Spread Your Legs For Daddy: Part 3Secretary (2002) The story: A dominant, uptight lawyer (James Spader) employs a self-harming, subservient secretary (Maggie Gyllenhaal). Unconventional true love blooms. Does it make me wanna incorporate anything into my sex life? Lots of sexual relationships originate at work. It’s probably the number one place where people hook up. Most working days (those mundane, hateful…
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Spread Your Legs For Daddy: Part 2
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Read more: Spread Your Legs For Daddy: Part 2Last Tango in Paris (1972) The story: In a cause celebre the Godfather tries a little anonymous humping. Bloody hell, now he’s the Prodfarther. Does it make me wanna incorporate anything into my sex life? “You don’t have a name and I don’t have a name, either,” Brando tells Maria Schnieder early on. “No names…
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Spread Your Legs For Daddy: Part One
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Read more: Spread Your Legs For Daddy: Part OneBack in my mid-twenties I was in bed with one of those lovely females making sweet love and thinking that life really wasn’t too bad when she clamped her teeth on my ear and half-snarled: “Stick it up me arse!” Now I know some men appear obsessed with snugly traversing a lady’s poo pipe, but…
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Spinning Plates: Part 4
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Read more: Spinning Plates: Part 4Prince in Purple Rain (1984) I like some Prince songs such as Thieves in the Temple, Sign o’ the Times and a fair chunk of the mega-selling Purple Rain stuff. He had something, all right, but too often I find his music tinny and unconvincing. I also got embarrassed by the guy’s self-indulgent sulking, like…
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Spinning Plates: Part 3
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Read more: Spinning Plates: Part 3Olivia Newton-John in Grease (1978) “Got any porno?” Debbie Harry asks in Videodrome. “Gets me in the mood.” Good line, but I doubt Newton-John ever said anything like it during her movie career. She might’ve been known as Olivia Neutron-Bomb after the release of the image-altering, multi-million selling Physical, but in reality, has any late…