Author: Bartholemew Cobb
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Hail Caesar! (2016): Christs, crammed by Coens, into a Messianic Monument of a Movie
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Read more: Hail Caesar! (2016): Christs, crammed by Coens, into a Messianic Monument of a MovieThat’s the key to Hail Caesar! one word, from the Hebrew ‘Mashiah’–’he who is anointed’, anointed for what? Nobody agrees.
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Black History Month Special: How you duuurrrn!– a black man in a dress is not the bellwether of conspiracy…unless it is.
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Read more: Black History Month Special: How you duuurrrn!– a black man in a dress is not the bellwether of conspiracy…unless it is.Publicity still from Wypipo Tryna Roto-rooter Mama’s Back-do’ on the Down-low: Madea’s Colonoscopy scheduled for release Summer ’25. Okay, so Hollywood is choked with faegelen who creepily ogle black men like they would a turquoise broach once worn by Bette Davis. Okay, so what if Hollywood is run by Jews whose reputation for a) a…
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Top 10 Romantic Movies that won’t make you want to shoot up your local Ann Taylor
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Read more: Top 10 Romantic Movies that won’t make you want to shoot up your local Ann TaylorAll movies have a love story—I don’t say that in vain, in college I had two screenwriting professors (both working, agented and credited) who hammered the point home “Every movie has a love story—remember that, Mr. Cobb.” “I understand.” “Do you? Because I’m sixty pages into your college-student-with-a-shotgun script and I haven’t detected a note…
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id Cinema: The Genre We Love
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Read more: id Cinema: The Genre We LoveId Cinema: the genre we love without all the ‘narrative structure’ or ‘causal logic’ that just gets in the way of its fans feeling superior to everybody.’ Id Cinema is my term for that treatment of narrative that uses symbol and abstraction to get to the point, which is usually the interior revelation of a…
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The Top 10 Words To Describe Midgets
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Read more: The Top 10 Words To Describe MidgetsThere was a story here recently about the word ’midget’ being officially struck from the BBCs style manual, meaning it ‘ist verboten en der extreem!’ I don’t know if they’re done it here yet, but c’mon The DEI demons worked every Halloween, solstice and Dianic Dyke Orgy to make ESG (the WEF’s Orwellian ass-fuck, of…
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Memorable Movie Scenes: Part 47
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Read more: Memorable Movie Scenes: Part 47“Don’t take this as creepy or nothing, but I’m guessing your head weighs at least ten pounds.“ Movie: Back To The Future Where would Gen-X be without this film? A teenager gets sent into the past only to endanger the fortuitous meeting of his parents and by extension, erasing him and his siblings from history.…
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The Green Knight (2021)
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Read more: The Green Knight (2021)We all heard the pipes begin to play for cinema, didn’t we? I did. Then, from nowhere and without warning, somebody made The Green Knight and gave us hope. It is a Christmas film, in the real sense, the actual high-holy-day-of-the-Christian-calendar sense (Die Hard can drop reeling from the top of Nakatomi Plaza for all…
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Demons in the air -or- Why movies suck and wokism is everywhere
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Read more: Demons in the air -or- Why movies suck and wokism is everywhereDemons in the Air: Why Movies Suck, Wokism is Everywhere, Your Company is Sponsoring a Gay Pride Parade Even Though It Makes Swizzle Sticks and (finally!) Who’s Responsible? [Imagine flying through clouds in clear black and white while a comforting southern voice narrates] There is a demon that lives in the air. This demon calls…
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How to Create a Film Fan in Five Easy Flicks
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Read more: How to Create a Film Fan in Five Easy FlicksMy cousin doesn’t understand my work, movies bore him, he says, but I don’t blame him, since in his mid-twenties and according to him has never seen a black and white movie all the way through his cinema appreciation is in the dumps. Double that the only movies he’s actually seen have been post 2000s,…
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The Insult of Cocaine Bear is Greater Than its Mere Crapitude
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Read more: The Insult of Cocaine Bear is Greater Than its Mere CrapitudeI.. Am. Dismayed. Dismayed and adrift. Dismayed, adrift, unseen and ignored. What brought me to this lowly state? Why, I’ll tell you. ON NO LESS THAN NINE OCCASIONS has Hollywood passed on my Kiplingesque treatment of nature by making Cocaine Bear…an insult I have not seen and will not see, but the pain, the sting,…