Author: Kevin

I’m meltiiiiinnnnngggg. Am I a bad parent for taking my six year-old to see The Meg? Maybe. In my defense, he really, REALLY wanted to see it. I am not saying it is a good defense, just a defense that is slightly more effective than that of the Cleveland Browns. Hi Clevelanders. At some point,…

Rufio-o-o-o-o! If I saw a kid carrying a bunch of stuffed animals and those stuffed animals were talking, I might raise an eyebrow as I walked by. It is 2018 – a talking toy of any sort is commonplace. However, if it were 1948, I might follow the kid home, then find a priest to…

Discount Batman. After having just watch the MLB All-Star game, my mind was focused on trivial facts. Baseball is full of them. One running joke in my house is whenever my wife overhears a baseball announcer rambling about some statistic, she will add on something like “during day games on a Tuesday in leap years.”…

It wasn’t me. It was the one-legged man. “It is good to see the Chinese are embracing the shittiest aspects of American cinema, just like us Americans.” – Me, minutes after the conclusion of Skyscraper. Before you start furiously typing a comment about how Skyscraper is not meant to be an Oscar winner, I know.…

Back to the future. With the box office disappointment of Solo: A Star Wars Story, Disney executives are freaking out. Star Wars has reliably been a billion-dollar-per-movie enterprise since Disney purchased Lucasfilm, and anything less is the equivalent of the New England Patriots failing to win the Super Bowl. In other words, completely unacceptable. Heads…

Whistling at dogs. Note to readers: I have tried to keep politics out of my movie reviews, but when viewing Sicario: Day of the Soldado, the film’s politics are impossible to ignore given recent events. Thus, it is impossible not to write about politics here. A list of current events in the United States includes:…

How to train your dinosaur (or, A steaming pile). “I am never mad at the end of movies. All I wanted from this movie was to be entertained and it could not even do that. And, I liked A Wrinkle in Time. Well, at least until I started thinking about it.” – My friend, after…

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? When I was a kid, my parents watched America’s Most Wanted with John Walsh. Episodes featured cheap reenactments of crimes committed by featured suspects to give the audience something to watch besides Mr. Walsh talking, even though that something to watch had the cinematic quality of anthropomorphic finger…

Sorry, were you hoping to learn something interesting about Han Solo? Benign. Rote. By-the-book. Fine. Adequate. Entertaining enough. All are applicable adjectives to the latest Star Wars movie, Solo: A Star Wars Story. Hell, “A Star Wars Story” is probably the perfect way to describe Solo because it is generic and tells us something we…

Winter is here. Ten years people. We have been waiting ten years for Avengers: Infinity War and it is finally here. Eighteen movies and three television series later and it is finally here. Okay, so not many people watch all three TV series. I forgot Inhumans was even a thing (just eight episodes), Agent Carter…