Directed by: Edward L. Cahn
Written by: Jerome Bixby
With: Marshall Thompson as Col. Edward Carruthers
Shirley Patterson as Ann Anderson (as Shawn Smith)
Kim Spalding as Col. Van Heusen
Dabbs Greer as Eric Royce
The inspiration for this It! The Terror from Beyond Space many be found in A. E. van Vogt’s story the Black Destroyer. IT in-turn inspired Alien. Van Vogt along with Heinlein, Asimov, Weintraub, Doc Smith and others wrote in the golden age of science fiction. The science fiction movies of the 50s, with few exceptions, are best given the silver, and Lucas and Spielberg ushered in the bronze age.
The “beyond space” in this epic is the planet Mars. The version of the Red Planet sports a landscape like the moon, but with a breathable Earth-like atmosphere. (No one in Hollywood earns high marks for rocketry, physics or astronomy.)
It’s the early 70s and the first manned expedition to Mars crashed on landing. If that was not bad enough, nine of the ten crewmen, under the command of Col. Edward Carruthers, disappeared like a Republican when the dinner check arrived, leaving the red faced colonel to explain the whole ugliness to the folks arriving in the rescue ship, one of whom just will not listen to reason.
Yeah, I am referring to one Col. Van Heusen, rescue ship commander. I may be talking through my hat here, but I think there is some backstory history between those two. It is clear the two token women in the cast, little more than servants for the men here, much prefer Col. Ed.
Ed offers some happy horse shit that he did not kills his shipmates in order to horde all the supplied for himself to wait out the arrival of the rescue party, as Col Van Heusen claims, nooooo, he says a hostile humanoid life form like can be found at Fox News was the phantom killer.
“What a load of commie bull.”
While still on the hostile planet, the professional crew left the door of the airlock open, so any sneaky critter looking for a trip to earth with inflight meals can just stroll in and make himself at home (“You left the damn door open and the house is full of flies!) Were they raised in a barn? Someone remembers to close the door before: BLASTOFF!
Col. Ed is followed all over the ship, which seems to consist of empty space, except for the cargo deck, which is littered with oil drums, boxes and discarded Big Mac wrappers, by an escort armed with 1911 Colt .45, sure to stop the terrified Col. Ed from seizing the ship and flying to a non-extradition planet.
Suspicions are aroused when a crewman, enlisted of course, disappeared and is found drained of blood and stashed in an air duct (Hello Capt. Dallas). Col. Van Heusen remains unconvinced. He dreams of commanding the firing squad that will send Col. Ed beyond space sans spaceship, and no woke candy-ass is going to screw it up.
There follows some speculation that the ill-tempered critter is the degenerate final surviving member of a race descended from civilized Martians gone bad due to liberal democracy. What follows is a battle royal to defeat the monster. It laughs at the .45. The Garand M1 bullets it swats away like flies. A bazooka has no effect. Note: .45s, M1 rifles and bazookas are standard issue for astronauts in the 50s.
They try electrocution. “Oh, that tickles”.
Finally, the tough bastard is done in by decompression. Col. Van Heusen sees the light of reason and gives his life to save the others. The chump.
We are left with his message:
“Another name for Mars is DEATH!”
Elon Musk wants to die on Mars.
I say, let ’em.
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