Month: December 2023
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Commando
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Read more: CommandoHomoeroticism? More than you could possibly imagine. I mean all the crap about Arnold being Der Gropin’fuhrer was just a rightwing-ruse to distract Californians from the fact that Schwarzenegger has starred in the single gayest movie ever made.
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Predator
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Read more: PredatorHomoeroticism? Unchartable. Unprecedented. Unfathomable. Undeniable. Off the frigging scale, man!
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Big Trouble In Little China (1986)
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Read more: Big Trouble In Little China (1986)Homoeroticism? None. Oh, boy, we need to talk. O.K., there was a weak attempt at redemption at the end when Jack didn’t even kiss his green-eyed girl goodbye, but by then all hope was lost. It’s complicated and confusing as we had an 80s action duo that usually meant love at first sight, but it…
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What Happens at a Timeshare Presentation?: Look Into the Mouth of Hell
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Read more: What Happens at a Timeshare Presentation?: Look Into the Mouth of HellWe were engulfed in a lake of slime and filth so vile that it would tarnish every amenity promised to us.
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Munich
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Read more: MunichSpielberg’s finest, and certainly his bravest.
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Why Bad Tippers Deserve Horrible Deaths
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Read more: Why Bad Tippers Deserve Horrible DeathsIf you do not tip, or if you tip substantially less than social norms dictate, you deserve to be drowned in a cauldron of boiling vomit. You are the worst. A dictator who cleansed the earth of bad tippers would be remembered as a hero for a hundred generations. The argument for tipping is pretty…
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Lethal Weapon
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Read more: Lethal WeaponHomoeroticism: More than I ever expected, I must say. Hell, when we first meet Danny Glover, he’s soaking in the tub! Even better, the first thing we see of Mel Gibson is his glistening, bare ass!
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Red Heat
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Read more: Red HeatTagline: “Moscow’s toughest detective. Chicago’s craziest cop. There’s only one thing worse than making them mad. Making them partners.” Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Russian Asshole and Polish Cop Kill Drug Dealers. Homoeroticism: ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! Gayest of all 80s Action films! ALERT! In Indian movies, sex is represented by…
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Madison Rising: Music Review
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Read more: Madison Rising: Music ReviewIt’s Metal…For your Mom. Back in the day, the only day that ever really mattered, the 1980s, heavy metal music was about the only way, absent an errant missile strike by the Soviet Union, for young people to watch their oppressors suffer, be they parent, teacher, Congressman, or cop. While their pursed lips, crooked fingers,…
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Death Wish
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Read more: Death WishThe 1974 classic that helped usher in an era of hostility to liberalism, minorities, and apologists for crime and violence.