Month: March 2017

Don’t you hate it when the first half of a movie is really good and the second half is a mess of shit? Welcome to Life, a movie that builds some of the best tension I’ve seen in years, then loses its mind in the interest of novelty deaths. Life reminded me a lot of…

Land of Mine (sandet) 1 hour 40 minutes, R for extreme bodily mutilation. Fair Value of Land of Mine: $9.00. It falls in a middle range of films about ordnance disposal, better than The Hurt Locker but not as good as Bravo Two Zero. The Summer Camp from Hell: To the innocents are bequeathed the…

I get that I am not the audience for Beauty and the Beast. I am not a fan of musicals. I am not a ten-year-old girl who doesn’t care about plot holes or young women being held against their will. I do not find buffaloes attractive, not even rich, royal buffaloes. I do not care…

90 minutes, Rated G Fair Value of The Red Turtle:$9.00. Beautiful art and animation at a languid pace. Is this film worth my time? Do you like the idea of Herge, Miyazaki, and Gauguin working together? This film is a moving picture in the truest sense, a 90 minute montage of art. Who is this…

After nearly forty years living on Earth, it’s not often that movies surprise me, but when they do it’s like I’m eight years old at Christmas again. When you’re an adult opening presents, you almost always know what’s inside that wrapping paper, but when you’re eight, that package could contain anything from an action figure…

After the biggest and most ridiculous gaff in Oscar history (If you’re working or driving, don’t text), Moonlight was belatedly awarded the coveted Best Picture Oscar, not by Warren Beatty, but by the gracious director of La La Land. The pressure to love and praise the 2017 Best Film was beyond irresistible. After all, I…