Month: February 2017
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A Cure for Wellness
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Read more: A Cure for WellnessA Cure for Wellness-2 hours, 26 minutes Rated (R) for copious geriatric nudity, graphic dental torture, body horror Tagline: The cure for the human condition is disease Who is this film perfect for? People who wish that Dario Argento had been given a really big Hollywood budget during his prime. A Cure for Wellness is…
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The Beckoning Silence (2007)
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Read more: The Beckoning Silence (2007)The Docu-Movie Touching the Void is the Godfather of all mountain climbing movies. Just watching this movie turned Roger Ebert into a quivering, blubbering mess. Touching the Void is a Docu-drama based on the calamitous events that occurred when Joe Simpson and Simon Yates attempted to ascend and descend the Siula Grande in Peru. Beyond…
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Why This Year’s Oscar Movies Suck
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Read more: Why This Year’s Oscar Movies SuckThe Oscars are a huge time for celebration in the entertainment industry. In years past, amazing movies like The Matrix, Lord of The Rings, and Titanic swept the Oscars. Undoubtedly, critics and fans alike knew that these movies would go down as legendary motion pictures. The problem with the Oscars today is that we just…
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Finding Dory
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Read more: Finding DoryThere’s this scene in my head when the board and executives at Disney Pixar meet to discuss the success of Finding Nemo and the possibility of a sequel. It goes something like this: An executive enters the boardroom. Senior, benevolent shareholders are sitting around the table drinking freshly squeezed juices and exchanging kindly grins with…
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The Great Wall
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Read more: The Great WallI’m not sure how, but I managed to avoid trailers for The Great Wall until the night before the screening. I wasn’t even trying to avoid them, I just hadn’t seen any for this particular movie. Prior to seeing that trailer, I thought The Great Wall was a historical fiction in the vein of Tom…
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Fist Fight
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Read more: Fist FightI wish someone had punched me in the face when I decided to watch this movie. Even before I said it out loud, just thinking that thought should have caused someone to run through my door and cold-cock me. I knew – KNEW –Fist Fight was going to be a terrible movie after watching the…
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Into the Cold: A Journey into the Soul
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Read more: Into the Cold: A Journey into the SoulI really enjoy most documentaries about man v. nature, especially in a cold weather setting. Happy People was one of the most enjoyable and rewarding documentaries ever, and what else would you expect from the great Werner Herzog? Into the Cold: A Journey into the Soul, unlike Happy People was a self-indulgent and preachy docuME…
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The Lego Batman Movie
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Read more: The Lego Batman MovieHere’s the truth – I wanted to see The Lego Batman Movie as much as my 4-year old son. We’ve been slowly building a Lego city in our basement over the past year and I love watching his little imagination work. I also love feeling like a kid myself. So this is the perfect movie…
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John Wick: Chapter 2
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Read more: John Wick: Chapter 2It’s been two and a half years since John Wick murdered scores of people over a dead dog and stolen car and I still don’t understand how that movie scored an 85% critic rating on Rotten Tomatoes. It was easily one of the worst written movies of 2014 that somehow got a complete pass because…
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The Space Between Us
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Read more: The Space Between UsMy immediate impression of The Space Between Us was it was cute, I guess. That might be the last nice thing I say about this film because I spent the last twenty-four hours realizing that it’s kind of bad. Then I looked up the current Rotten Tomatoes score and…oh. Oh no. 11%? It wasn’t that…