Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (2000) The original Jack Frost was a near masterpiece of camp watchability. I guess that it was inevitable that a sequel had to be made. In Jack Frost 2 we again had the star of the show, Sam, the stupid chief. I did the original review in the 80s Action Format, but I haven’t decided how I’m going to review this powerhouse. Oh well, what the hell, let’s go for it again.
Here’s the set-up. Sam was still obsessing about the Snowman, even though they had buried his antifreeze dissolved remains in a secret grave. Scientists learned about this, find and dug up the grave and try to bring the Snowman back to life with no success. It was only when a cup of coffee was accidentally tipped into the tank of antifreeze that the Snowman reformulated and boy was he pissed! Meanwhile, Sheriff Sam, his wife and another gaggle of idiotic characters decided to spend Christmas on a tropical island to forget the horror of the Snowman and to relax. The Snowman, of course, found his way to the island in liquid form and the killing commenced. As the murders piled up, the balance of the movie was the reaction of the idiots who tried to kill Jack Frost for once and for all.
Tagline:
He’s back! There is 20% chance of frostbite and 100% chance of death.
Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence:
Mutant Snowman goes tropical to continue to kill, kill, kill!
Homoeroticism:
Not much here. There was a flaming gay Oriental photographer that was quickly and mercifully dispatched by Jack.
Corpse Count:
At least 22 humans died in this film. While the corpse count was not particularly high, the quality of the deaths more than made up for the low number. Also, if you counted in the deaths of Jacks little friends, the death toll was well into the hundreds.
Novelty Deaths:
All of the deaths were pretty spectacular and inspired. We even had a homage to A Christmas Story with a tongue stuck to the flagpole death. Also, getting stabbed in the eyes with weenie tongs was pretty impressive, but you have to give props to the snow anvil as one of the cheesiest deaths ever.
How Bad Was It Really:
It was more horrible than you can possibly imagine. The acting was atrocious. The camera work was a crime, and the special effects looked like they originated in Special Ed. The plot was absurd and an insult to the film industry, and that is saying something. However, as a totally cheesy guilty pleasure Jack Frost 2 gets a 10.0/10.0. It followed the spirit of the original and in some ways it was even better. The dialogue and one-liners were as relentless as they were brain-meltingly bad. As a good “bad” movie though, it was a masterpiece.
Was There a Stupid Chief?:
Oh boy, we were blessed. Not only was there Sheriff Sam, we also had the return of Agent Manners from the original Jack Frost movie. He took bumbling idiocy of law enforcement and security to a new level. We also had The Colonel, who was annoyingly British, and never met a Snowman murder that he could not euphemise as a shark attack.
Post and Pre-Mortem One Liners:
- “Oh, I guess that was de-capitated coffee” -Jack Frost
- “COWA-TONGUE-A DUDE!” -Jack Frost after flagpole death
- “That’s it! You are so fucking DEAD! -Jack Frost (pre-mortem)
More Quotes and One-Liners:
- “Fuck, I hate Christmas” -Anne Tiller
- “I hate it when the dead don’t stay dead” -Agent Manners
- “There’s a party and I’m not invited? Someones gonna pay” -Jack Frost
- “Anti-freeze? ANTI-FREEZE? We are on a tropical island, for Christs sake!” -Captain Fun
- “If its so important, why don’t you talk to me right here?” -Sam “Because I have to pee” -Agent Manners
- “20% chance of frostbite and 100% chance of death!” -Jack Frost
- “I now pronounce you totally fucking dead” -Jack Frost
- “Great! Make a list…Things that would have been useful to know 5 minutes ago” -Agent Manners
- “Karaoke? You’ve got to be kidding me?” -Jack Frost
- “Hmmmm….Toasty!” -Snowball after being put in waffle iron
- “Another attack of the murderous coconut shark” -Agent Manners
- “There will be no squeezing or squealing on my watch, Mr. Funsucker” -Captain Fun
Stupid Political Content:
Not very much. You could say that Orientals were not treated very well in this movie, but you could also say that no one else was treated very well, either. The English Colonialist was more annoying than political.
Was There an Atomic Blast at the End?:
No, but we had one of the worst post-credit stingers ever in the form of a giant carrot tossed at some random toy ship. This was so poorly conceived that it was absolutely wonderful.
Special Ruthless Ratings -or- What I Learned From Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman
- Movie 2.0/10.0 straight up. 10.0/10.0 as a camp “good” bad movie
- The number of times the annoying soundtrack made you reach for your knife – Zero, what soundtrack?
- After you find out the snowman is immune to anti-freeze you still make a trap for him with anti-freeze
- Snowballs love to get drunk but cannot tolerate banana daiquiris.
- Vacationers aren’t the least bit shocked when it starts to snow on a tropical island and just start to frolic and have a random snowball fight.
- If you are a toxic mutant Killer Snowman who can sublimate and change form at will + you are impervious to conventional military-grade weapons, a banana allergy can destroy you.
- A Snowman destroyed with anti-freeze will only come back to life with accidentally spilled coffee.
- If your face it totally eaten off in the original movie, you can return to the sequel with only an eye patch.
